Hello, this is Lindsay Dotzlaf and you are listening to Mastering Coaching Skills, episode 107.

To really compete in the coaching industry, you have to be great at coaching. That’s why every week, I will be answering your questions, sharing my stories, and offering tips and advice so you can be the best at what you do. Let’s get to work.

Oh, hey coach, I’m so glad you’re here today. I have the most fun interview for you. Today I am talking to one of my clients who is in Coaching Masters, which is currently enrolling if you’re listening to this in real time, the day that it comes out. Coaching Masters applications are now open and they close on Friday.

But I am talking to a client of mine, DeDe Anderson. She is an amazing coach. She’s in my mastermind and we talk all about why she chose to join Coaching Masters, how she got into coaching in general, and all of kind of her biggest takeaways from Coaching Masters. And one of my favorite things, which is how she created an entirely new group coaching program for her clients in the two days of the Coaching Masters live experience, which by the way, she attended virtually.

So she wasn’t live, she couldn’t be live. She couldn’t join us, but she does talk about her experience, what it was like being virtual, and all of the amazingness that she has gotten out of the mastermind so far. I can’t wait for you to hear all of her goodness, enjoy.

Lindsay: Hello, I am so happy to have you here today. Can you tell everyone who you are and what you do?

DeDe: Yes, I am DeDe Anderson, I am a certified life coach through the Life Coach School. I help women learn how to stop merely surviving and start thriving in their life. And I am just about to launch a group program called The Power of Self-Love and Acceptance.

Lindsay: Yes, I love that. You are in my mastermind, your client in Coaching Masters and we’ve been talking about this a lot because this was the project that you worked on a little bit at the in-person event for Coaching Masters.

DeDe: Yes.

Lindsay: How has that been going? How would you say, let’s just dive in first with that. And then we’ll move on to some other things because I’m super interested in just how you got into coaching, how you got into this niche. But how has it been? This is your first group program, right?

DeDe: Yes.

Lindsay: Okay.

DeDe: Well, so I did a little bit of a pilot program to start this, which was more about weight loss and I didn’t feel really aligned to that anymore after we went through it. And then now it’s just more about acceptance.

Lindsay: I love that.

DeDe: Yeah.

Lindsay: So how has it been going? Just creating the program what have been like your favorite parts or even your least favorite parts?

DeDe: Well, the favorite parts are just the weekly calls that we have with the pilot group that I started with. That’s been super exciting. Before Coaching Masters, before that weekend, like this was just something that was in my mind. Like I was not really even thinking about creating this group program that I thought would be the catalyst of my career, my coaching career.

But now that’s what it’s turned into after that weekend of thinking about it. It’s like, oh, this is so doable. Which maybe I didn’t believe that before that weekend. But I just, I love working in a group setting. I think I was very scared of a group setting to start with because I started out as just one to one coaching. And I think a lot of us new coaches probably are a little scared to do anything that we haven’t done before, right?

But I love the interaction on the group. I love the way the people react and the camaraderie of the group. I think that’s my favorite part for sure.

Lindsay: So for people listening that are in the same boat, that have been one-on-one coaching for a while and they’ve been thinking about maybe they want to start a group, or they know a group or some sort of group coaching is in the future. So you kind of said like your favorite thing, is there anything else that stands out to you that was either like surprising or that you’ve kind of learned along the way as you’ve launched the pilot of your program?

DeDe: Well, the surprising part is how easy it was. Honestly, I don’t even know, I mean, obviously, as coaches we know the drama we create in our mind about it. And I guess the advice that I would give anyone is just do it. Even if you know five friends that would do it with you, just to start with that and just get comfortable with it because it’s so much easier than you ever anticipated.

Lindsay: But for you, before you started your group, what were the things you were afraid of? Was it like the actual coaching or was it the selling or finding enough people for the group? Or what was that like for you?

DeDe: Well, probably all of the above. But my biggest fear in my life has been public speaking and I think I made that go hand in hand and group coaching is like the same thing as public speaking and it’s nothing like that. I made that fear so much bigger than what it was. So that was the absolute biggest drama, was the public speaking part.

And then, of course you coached me on this too, but it was like having enough content for the group. And like you coached me as like, “What’s the main thing?” It’s like, “Well, I will coach them.” And you’re like, “Oh, so maybe you don’t have to have as much content as you think.” So that’s made a huge difference for me too.

Lindsay: Yeah, I think this is so common. And I would love to just talk about this for a second just because I know people that are listening are like, “Yes, I totally have this.” I see this with so many of my clients that are wanting to get into group coaching, like something switches in their brain where they’re like, “No, no, no, one on one it’s fine that the coaching is the most important aspect.” But for some reason when they switch into groups, and not that you can’t have a bunch of content.

Some groups make a lot of sense to have a bunch of content depending on what the group is for. But something just flips in their minds where it’s like, wait a minute, the coaching is no longer the most important and it’s all these other things that I have to have completed before I could ever launch a group. And they create this kind of list of like 100 things that like, I have to check off all of these boxes before I’m allowed to have a group.

What has it been like for you? What’s your experience of kind of letting go of some of that?

DeDe: Honestly, I think I completely let go of it the day that you asked me like, what’s the most important part? Where are they getting the transformation? And it’s in the coaching, it’s not in the stuff in the vault. I mean, I think that’s a big thing. All of us that have gone through LCS is like when you log into Scholars and you see all that information, you’re like, “I have to have all that for my group, right? I have to have all these different things for them to stay engaged in.”

And that doesn’t have to be the case, especially whenever you’re starting out, right? I mean, that’s what I want, is the intimacy of like a smaller group to start with too, right? And then it’s all about the coaching, not just the content.

Lindsay: And depending on what kind of group someone is creating, I think there’s a little bit of a difference between like a lifetime access program maybe that you’re selling for a long time, which over time you still might add content to. Versus I think sometimes people are surprised when I tell them I’m about to launch my, I think it’s my 10th round of Coaching Masters is what we’ll be launching as this podcast comes out. And I didn’t have any of that in the beginning. It was like just come and get coached.

DeDe: Yeah.

Lindsay: And I taught things on the calls, on the weekly calls. But I didn’t create this like whole big vault of things. So I think sometimes now people look at, for example, like The Coach Lab, right, and think like, “Oh, if I have a group, it has to look like this.” Or Scholars like you mentioned, right? It has to look like this. But it’s like, no, that’s from like years of content being created.

DeDe: Right. And it’s only there when they’re not on the weekly calls. It’s like if they want that, right? It’s not like it’s the whole program.

Lindsay: Yes. Okay, so tell me a little bit about how you got into coaching.

DeDe: Okay. Where do I start?

Lindsay: And it’s kind of fun, I ask you this because, for the listeners, I don’t know a lot about you. You’re in a round of Coaching Masters, and some of my clients have been in for a few rounds so I’ve just gotten to know a lot more of their story, a lot more about them. And I just don’t know that about you. So I’m just curious kind of how you got into coaching and why you feel so passionate about who you help.

DeDe: Sure. It’s kind of a roundabout story. It’s kind of funny because the whole way I found coaching was I was looking for ways to lose weight, right? I was Googling and Corinne Crabtree’s stuff came up. And she’s amazing. And because of my personality I have to get to like, I want the source, right?

And so she had the little LCS logo at the bottom of her page and I’m like, “Well, I got to go check that out now.” And then I went and found the Life Coach School. And so I’m like, “Well, I could just become a coach.” Because my life was in a place of what I would consider shambles. So I was widowed in 2014. My husband committed suicide and that just put me in a spiral of hell.

Lindsay: As most people probably would be.

DeDe: Right?

Lindsay: Makes a lot of sense.

DeDe: Yeah, so then I found the Life Coach School in 2019. So it had been probably like four and a half years since my husband died. I had met someone else and we were very happy. It was like I was coming out of that spiral of hell. And then we’d been together for about a year and then all of a sudden, all those same emotions started coming back, right? Because falling in love was like it just masked all of that.

Lindsay: Yeah.

DeDe: And so then I started feeling all of these same emotions again and I’m like, “What is going on?” And then I thought it was because of my weight. So then that’s whenever I searched for and found Corinne and then the Life Coach School. And then, literally, I joined scholars the week before Thanksgiving. And by Thanksgiving my life had changed.

Lindsay: Oh my goodness.

DeDe: It was just hearing the phrase, “your thoughts create your reality,” changed my life completely. I’m like, what am I creating for myself? What am I continuing to create for myself?

And the difference from the day I started Scholars and listening to 10 hours, let’s say, of stuff I was just like, oh my gosh, the world needs to hear this. This literally is the secret to the universe and it’s my job to pass this out to more people, like to let more people know that this is here and that we are in control of our lives, as little sometimes as we feel that we are.

Lindsay: That’s so similar to my story and this reminds me so much of me where it’s just like I latch onto something. And I’m like, “What?” Like for me coaching was just like, “Wait, what? Like everybody, everybody needs to know about this. Everybody.”

And I started literally, now some of my friends are coaches because in that time when I was first discovering it I was telling everyone just like, “You won’t believe this, you have to know about this. Everybody needs to know. Tell all the people.” And yeah, I kind of did the same thing where I was like, “Okay, well, if I’m going in, I’m like going all the way in I think.”

DeDe: Yeah, and that’s exactly like – Before my husband had died I wanted to go back to school to be a counselor. And then it was shortly after that that he died, so I never got there. Well both my sisters have been through that program, and my daughter now is a counselor. So it’s like, it’s all in the family. But it was just like it was so different when you hear it from a coaching perspective versus a counseling perspective, I think, because it’s more future focused, rather than focusing on the past.

And that’s what I needed to get out of, was focusing on what had happened to me in the past. And I think I read a lot of books about like post traumatic growth versus post-traumatic stress and it was just like that was my way out. And it’s been amazing.

Lindsay: Yeah. I’ve been very open about this. On the podcast I’ve talked a little bit about how I think therapy and counseling and all of that that I’ve done personally were very pivotal for me. And I distinctly just remember where I got to this point, I still go to a therapist every once in a while now. So it’s not like, okay, that’s done and now I’ve moved on to this other thing.

But I just got to a point where it was like, okay, but now I understand all of it. I understand why this is happening, why this comes up for me, why I react to people the way I do, why I respond in these situations, like what the trauma, is all of that. And it’s there, thank you, how do I move forward? Right? Like I am ready for like the next step.

And I think, very similarly to what you just said, I just really latched on to coaching of like, “Oh my gosh.” And I don’t know that if I tried to do it in like the other order, if it would have been, if I would have been ready for it or if it would have been as impactful.

DeDe: Yeah, and I totally agree with that too. Like I did a year of therapy after my husband died and I would have never had that understanding of this coaching had I not been through that first, I don’t think. And I mean, I think someone that hasn’t been through a ton of trauma would maybe catch onto that really quickly. But when you’ve been through something, there’s definitely a place for therapy, I guess is what I’m saying.

Lindsay: I love to have this conversation because I just think it’s important for, you know, I have so many coaches who are like, “But what’s the difference? And how do I know? And how do I like explain to my clients which one they need?” And I’m like, you don’t, you just tell them what coaching is and you offer it to them, and you know who you can help.

And I think that that’s the most important thing because depending on where someone is on their own journey, one might be right, the other one might be right, or maybe both. Who knows?

DeDe: Yeah, for sure. And whenever I started out my one to one coaching program I was working with widows, right? Because that was what I had been through so that’s where I wanted to start my journey, was with that. And it was very evident the widows that I could coach and the ones that I couldn’t. Like you just know, like you said, you just know when they show up if they need more than what you can offer them.

And if they haven’t told their story, they probably need therapy, right? Like they need to get that stuff out. But if they’ve been through that and then they’re ready to see, what can I create in my future? That’s when they’re ready for coaching, in my opinion.

Lindsay: That’s really good. That’s a good distinction. I’ve never thought about it like that. How did you navigate that situation? Like did you ever have clients that came that you, because I get this question a lot. And sometimes I’m not even 100% sure how to answer so I just do my best. But I’m curious if your answer would be different on did you ever have to navigate the situation where you thought someone maybe wasn’t ready for coaching? Or at least not from you maybe.

DeDe: Yes, I did. And it was just really easy for me to see that because she couldn’t focus on the future, all she could think about was what had happened. And it was a very easy transition because I’m just like, “I really think that you would benefit from seeing a therapist because I think you need to get this stuff out.”

But she continued to stay with me and did the therapy at the same time. And it’s amazing where she’s at now. Lindsay: That’s amazing. And did you have a ground rule or a guideline of like how do you coach someone, I know what my answer is for this. But I’m curious about yours, of like how do you coach someone who is also in therapy?

DeDe: I don’t know that I have a ground rule on it. I think I just trust my intuition so much that whatever comes up is like, is that something that I can help her through? Or is it something that she needs more support on from somewhere else? I mean, I think it’s just an intuition thing for me.

Lindsay: Yeah, I think sometimes people are just very scared of this topic. And maybe, sometimes it appears to me like maybe it’s because they’ve never experienced therapy, or they have this idea of what it is and what people might be working through in therapy. And I would just say like, I think they’re so similar. Like there’s nothing to be scared of, right? It’s like, oh, this is just someone that has a different tool that might be able to help your clients in a way that you can’t.

DeDe: Yeah. Yeah, I think people that haven’t been through therapy, exactly, have some meaning of it, right? Like what it means to be in therapy, that they would be scared to tell someone that maybe they would need that. Whereas I’m like, most people probably would benefit from therapy at some point in their lives. So yeah, so it’s not a big deal to be like, “Oh, you might want to look at that avenue.”

Lindsay: Yeah, I think sometimes coaches, I hear them talk about it like it seems like they’re describing this like dark, secret underground thing. I’m like, no, it’s so similar. Just the therapists have different tools, they’re equipped to maybe handle things that coaches aren’t, period.

DeDe: Yeah.

Lindsay: That’s really it, not much of a difference.

DeDe: Absolutely. And with me having multiple people in my family that that’s their chosen career, it’s really easy. Like my daughter, she’s 27 now, so we talk a lot. And I’m like, “So I’m having this, what are you thinking?” You know, so I think I have someone to bounce that off of too that makes me feel really good about the decisions I make and help me be able to trust my intuition a little more like that too.

Lindsay: So good.

DeDe: Yeah.

Lindsay: All right, so tell us a little more about this amazing program that you’re creating. Who is it for? You’ve said it a little bit, but just a little more on like who’s it for? What’s the structure of it? Any of those decisions you’ve been making.

DeDe: Yeah, absolutely. So I’m so excited about it. It’s for any woman that struggles with looking at themselves in the mirror and loving themselves, which is a very high number of women in our culture, in our civilization.

So it’s a weekly group coaching program. And, yeah, I’m hoping that I will have about 50 women in the program. That’s kind of my ideal number that I would love to see. And it’s just all about self-love and accepting everything about ourselves, whether that’s your body, whether it’s your thinking that you’re unorganized, whether it’s thinking you’re lazy. Like it’s not just a physical acceptance, it’s all of the above, yeah.

Lindsay: I love it. So what is the, like is it a lifetime program? Is it for six months? What’s the time or membership, I can’t remember.

DeDe: Yeah, it’s six months to start with. I’m definitely hoping that they will re-up for another six months if they haven’t done any work on self-love and acceptance for themselves. Because I feel like it really would take about a full year if you’ve never started any of this work. But if you have, then I think six months would be plenty for you. And then once you’ve been in the program for a year, then you would have lifetime access to it.

Lindsay: Okay. And then I’m curious how do they know, like if someone’s listening and they’re like, “That might be me, I struggle with this.” What are the things that you see from a lot of your clients? Like how does it show up for them in like everyday life?

DeDe: The biggest thing is using the word should all the time. I should do this or I shouldn’t do this. You know, whenever you’re hearing yourself say that all the time, then you’re not accepting yourself the way that you are. People pleasing, always doing stuff for other people rather than yourself. Comparison of yourself with everyone around you.

I think those are probably the biggest things that are red flags that yeah, you’re definitely not loving and accepting yourself fully.

Lindsay: I think that this work is so important, and probably when I hired my very first one on one coach these were the things that we worked on, right? Of just like it is so ingrained for so many women, I think, to have thoughts that are like, I should be doing these other things that I’m not doing. I should, you know, fill in the blank, anything, lose weight, work more, work less, be home with my kids, take care of my family, like whatever. And I just think that this work is so important in the world. So I thank you for doing it.

DeDe: Yes, I’m super excited.

Lindsay: Okay, so let’s talk just a little bit about Coaching Masters. When this podcast comes out I will be kind of in the middle of a Coaching Masters launch and you are in it right now. What would you say to someone who is thinking about joining? If it’s like don’t do it, that’s okay.

DeDe: No, it’s do it. Definitely, that was just the first thing that came to my mind, was like absolutely do it. I didn’t really even know much about Coaching Masters even when I signed up. But I had met you, I don’t know if you remember, but it was at the Fearless workshop down in Texas.

And I was like, “I’ve got to have this woman in my world.” And then I left there and then didn’t get involved somehow. And I don’t know, I’m assuming you were doing Coaching Masters at the time.

Lindsay: I was.

DeDe: But I was just so new, right? And I was just focusing on I got to get one to one clients that. But yeah, I saw something on Instagram of yours pop up like six months after that. I was like, “Oh, yeah.” So then I signed up for all your emails, all your things. And it took me about six months before I signed up for Coaching Masters, just because I’d already had other programs that I was in.

Yeah, I really didn’t have any expectations at all. I was just like, I had already been around you, I knew what you were like and kind of how your style was just from being down at that workshop. And so that was a very easy decision for me to make that because I knew, whatever, I mean I was going to get something out of it no matter what.

And your style of coaching, which I posted on your Instagram, I think you saw, but it’s definitely like you’re just sitting with your best friend, right? And you can just chat about anything. But you can just see so clearly when someone starts spinning, or you know exactly what they need to hear at the exact right time, is what I feel like.

And that’s what I’ve got out of Coaching Masters. I love the size of the program. I love the amount of people that are in there. I feel like it’s very intimate, which is a good thing for me. I love the schedule, that it’s the same every week. I absolutely love that.

Lindsay: I know, sometimes people are like, “Can’t we just have two call time so that it’s easier for my time zone?” And I’m like we cannot because my brain, I will be showing up at like the wrong times, my clients will be showing up at the wrong times. We just can’t, not yet anyway.

DeDe: Yeah. So no, I love that part of it. But yeah, like just the reflection of yourself out of this program, I mean I think that’s the biggest thing that I’ve gotten out of this. You’re always looking for the next best tool to use with your client. And I think what we learn in this program is that is a reflection of yourself and how you’re showing up. And I think that’s what I’ve got out of this and that’s really been amazing.

I’m not like looking for like, oh, but what can I bring to my next client session that’s going to help them. It’s like, how can I look at myself and how I’m showing up with my client? And that’s the best thing they need. Lindsay: This is so good. I love hearing these things because I’m like, “Oh, let me write that down real quick. Let me say that.” Because I think sometimes, and I also talk very openly about this on the podcast, but sometimes it’s like when you’re the one selling the thing and you know the value of it and you’re like, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don’t know, just buy it and then come see.” And sometimes it’s just good.

And listen, even 9, 10 rounds in I’m like how, “What is it again? How do I sell it? Why do people want it?” And it gets easier and I’m getting better at it. But I just always like to say that for anyone who thinks like, I don’t know how to sell this thing. I don’t even, you know, I can’t believe I’m still having these thoughts. Sometimes we just do and that’s it.

DeDe: Right.

Lindsay: I love it.

DeDe: Yeah.

Lindsay: We are maybe a little over halfway through the round of Coaching Masters that you’re in. Is there anything else that have been, maybe you’ve kind of already said them, are there any other things that you’re like these are my biggest takeaway so far? Do you have any favorite things that we’ve worked on?

DeDe: Other than what I just mentioned, this might be interesting, but I love that sometimes there’s different coaches. I never thought I would really like that to tell you the truth. But it’s like when you show up with an open mind and listen to someone else, it’s like, “That’s exactly what I needed to hear today.” Right?

And sometimes we cannot feel, like when you’re coaching, I can feel like sometimes you’re so out of my league, like I can’t really compare myself to you. But when you allow other people that maybe have been just through the program that are coaching, it’s like, “Oh, yeah, like I can relate.” Relate, that was the word I was looking for. I can relate to that, like I could definitely be in that position, I think, at some point, right?

Lindsay: Yes.

DeDe: And so I think that’s nice to have those other coaches and it just feels like really relatable and I feel like you’re doing such a good job with them to bring them in to be able to do that too. It’s like oh, that’s pretty exciting that you can learn that way too.

Lindsay: Yeah, I love that. And honestly, I’m always pretty open in my marketing that I have guest coaches every once in a while. And I don’t have them as often in Coaching Masters, but I do have them every once in a while because I travel or if I’m sick last minute, which is rare but it happens, I’m human. And I always have just a couple of coaches in my pocket of like, oh, they could always fill in at the last minute.

And I think not only is it good, I have the same experience you do in other programs when other people come and coach. And I’m like, oh, like my brain just hears it differently coming from someone who’s maybe closer to working on that thing, than maybe the coach who’s teaching it.

DeDe: Right.

Lindsay: And it’s like teaching the same thing, but just saying different words sometimes just really helps your brain just grasp it differently. But I also just, if you remove all of that, I also just love to show coaches it’s okay to have a sick day or go on vacation and not think you have to upend your whole coaching practice. I’ve just seen so many coaches kind of bend over backwards.

And it’s a little different with one on one, and I totally understand that. But especially with groups, it’s like I’ve seen them bend over backwards to think I’m the only one that can be here to do every single thing. And I just don’t think that that’s true.

DeDe: Yeah.

Lindsay: And it doesn’t have to be. It’s not even like, oh, and this other coach is coming in and it’s not going to be as good, but at least there’s someone there. No, you can find coaches who are amazing to fill in for you and teach your content.

DeDe: Yeah, absolutely. And I think that is you’re being an example of how it can be easy in your coaching business. And I’m all for easy.

Lindsay: Yeah.

DeDe: Yeah.

Lindsay: And the other thing that I do on occasion is I’ll have colleagues come in who, they might even teach something that I don’t teach and I know it will be an enhancement to what I teach, right? So I might have them come in and teach this very specific thing that’s like a one week thing. And I’m just always looking at it through the lens of like, what’s the absolute best thing for my clients?

And one thing I know is that if I’m sick and distracted, or if I am on vacation and trying to squeeze a call in, neither of those things are good for my clients. And I just think that there are so many options. So I’m glad that you mentioned that because I think that I have seen it done in ways that aren’t so great. But I am pretty sure in Coaching Masters that we do a good job and the coaches that come in are pretty great.

DeDe: Yeah. And I think you just said something too, that just resonated with me so much. It’s like when you show up not 100%, that’s not the best thing for your clients. And I think that’s one of the biggest things we learn in Coaching Masters, is like kind of back to what I said about reflecting on yourself, like whenever you’re able to do that stuff, then you show up 100% for your clients.

And it’s not finding that perfect tool. It’s just like, how can I look at where I’m at and what I’m doing? And I feel like that’s what this whole program is about, is like really honing in on what you’re already doing, not finding something new.

Lindsay: Yeah, that’s probably one of the things that I probably talk the most about in Coaching Masters, right, is like always reframing it through the lens of how is this best for your clients? What is best for your clients? And even when, because as coaches we are humans and sometimes we have to make decisions that are uncomfortable that are like, I just can’t show up today, or I can’t do this thing. And so not tricking yourself into like, oh, it’s going to be –

Because I see some coaches do this sometimes where they’re like, “Oh, actually, I’m just going to give my clients a week off because that’s going to be best for them.” Right, like try to talk themselves into it. And it’s like, no, what’s actually best for them? And if you can’t find that thing, then like, okay, what’s the temporary solution? And how do you make it up? Right, like what is the down the line solution that you’re going to implement moving forward, but still understanding that you’re human. I love that you brought that up.

What else do you want to talk about? Is there anything that we haven’t mentioned that you were hoping we would talk about today?

DeDe: I would definitely love to talk about the weekend.

Lindsay: Oh yeah.

DeDe: Yeah.

Lindsay: I forgot, thank you. So yeah, before we got started I said this is one thing I definitely want to talk about. So I had Sheri on a couple weeks ago and we talked about the in-person event and the live event for Coaching Masters and some of the things that we worked on.

You attended virtually and I thought it could be fun to just talk about that a little bit because I know so many people when they sign up for stuff like this they’re like, “But if I can’t be there in person it’s like not even worth it.” And they’ll just not join the whole entire mastermind because they’re going to miss those couple of days.

DeDe: Yep.

Lindsay: So I would love to get kind of your opinion on that, hear what your experience was of attending virtually.

DeDe: Yes. So I definitely had that mindset. Whenever I signed up for Coaching Masters I was definitely going to do every live event, it didn’t matter what was coming up. Well, that didn’t happen to work out for me. And I was devastated that I wasn’t going to get to go to Chicago.

Lindsay: And to be clear, I think personally you had travel on both sides or something and you were gone for like a whole month in Greece or something.

DeDe: The Maldives for three weeks, yes. So I did that. And then came back.

Lindsay: I just don’t want people to feel sorry for you.

DeDe: Right.

Lindsay: Because you didn’t even invite me, so we’re not feeling sorry for you.

DeDe: Exactly. Okay, I’ll let that go. So yeah, but I was definitely bummed that I wasn’t going to make it. And I had that whole mentality that the virtual is not going to be as good. But the way that you designed that, that we were involved through the whole thing was amazing.

I’ve been through a lot of virtual events where it’s like only the breakout sessions or something like that would be the virtual part and you don’t hear everything that’s going on. But even sitting in my office, where I’m sitting at exactly right now, I felt like I was with all of you there. And just to be able to hear the conversations all around the room, yeah, it was amazing. That was by far the best virtual event I’ve ever been to.

Lindsay: Oh my gosh, you have no idea. I just got like full body chills when you said that because I personally was so stressed about the tech side of it because I wanted so badly for you to feel like you were there as much as I could.

DeDe: Yeah.

Lindsay: So I’m so glad to hear that that’s the experience you had, even though you had to help me with tech a couple of times on your end.

DeDe: Right. I mean, we had to work through it, right? And that’s the thing too, I think what people need to realize going to these events and like it’s okay to ask for things too, right? Like it was okay for us to say, “Hey, Lindsay, we can’t hear that side of the room very well.” And we all made it work. And I think you wanted to hear that, right?

Lindsay: Yes.

DeDe: Because you so wanted that to be the case. And if we don’t ask for that stuff, you would never know.

Lindsay: Oh yeah.

DeDe: I felt at first you’re, like coming as a recovering people pleaser, you’re like, “Oh, I just want her to think this is the best thing ever.” But it was like “No, I don’t want to miss out on any of that.”

Lindsay: Yeah, of course, I wanted you to tell me so that I could make it the best possible, right? Instead of just suffering through and like, okay, well, we can’t really hear the other side of the room. But it’s fine, I’ll watch it on replay or whatever. Or like I might miss part of it. No, you guys spoke up. And it wasn’t just you, there were a handful of you, and you spoke up and told me and we just had a solution for it. We found one, thankfully, every time.

DeDe: And I just want to share this with you too, because was it Friday, Saturday, is that the days?

Lindsay: Yes, I believe so.

DeDe: Yeah. And my husband usually gets off work like at noon on Fridays. And I said, “I’m doing this virtual event.” I said, “But I’m sure I can cut out early.” Like I literally told him that because I thought this virtual event was not going to be like it was.

And he was texting me when I was up there, he’s like, “Are you done?” I’m like, “No, I’m going to be here till the end.” Right? Like, I don’t even care if you’re mad, this is where I want to be. So I mean, definitely, it kept me engaged and I was just excited to be there. And literally, my program was birthed that weekend.

Lindsay: Yeah, you were on fire. You were so fun to coach that weekend. It’s part of why I wanted to have you on, because something happened where you were like, “Oh my gosh, the whole thing is just coming out and here are all the decisions.”

And you may have been uncomfortable, but you didn’t seem that uncomfortable. We literally made, I think, every decision you needed to make over those couple of days. And by the end, at least on my end, it seemed like you had the entire thing planned out.

DeDe: Yeah, and still do. Like just working exactly the plan that I need to be working to get it launched. And in January it’ll launch and I’m stoked. Yeah.

Lindsay: I’m curious what your thoughts are, because this is the first time that I’ve implemented this. First, the live portion, but also implementing that we’re all going to work on one thing, like kind of one project. And we’re going to literally plan the whole thing out in a couple of days and you’re going to walk away with either having worked on already some of it or an exact plan for what you need to do.

But one question I’ve been getting of people that are kind of intrigued by this is like, “Oh, but how do people pick? Do you give them options?” And I say, “No, you can, like truly you can work on anything.” And I’m just curious what your experience of that was like. Did it bother you that other people were working on things that, you know, like some people were starting a podcast, like creating a whole launch plan for a podcast, right?

Like they were just totally different projects. What was your experience of that?

DeDe: No, I think that was perfect. I wouldn’t have wanted to pick something that everybody else was doing, right? I want this to be unique to me and what would work best in my business next. And so no, I think that was perfect. And the coaching is the same no matter what they’re launching, right?

Lindsay: Right.

DeDe: No matter what is going on we all have the same thoughts. It’s all just fear and doubt or whatever comes up for us. We’re all capable of doing this stuff, it’s just getting our mind to play along with it. So yeah, no, I think that was perfect.

Lindsay: Yeah, I love hearing that because my thought was it’ll be perfect because I would rather everyone not be working on the same thing because it really keeps you out of the, first of all, comparing yourself or like making decisions on, “I guess I’ll do it this way because that’s how this other person is doing it. Maybe she knows better. I’ll just do what she’s doing.”

But we were still able to brainstorm and kind of give everyone ideas. But everyone kind of had their own lane. Even the few people that were doing a couple of similar things, mostly it was like there were a couple people that wanted to start podcasts. But for one person it was like she was working more on the launch side of the podcast, and for the other it was a little more of the actual podcast, right? Like the content, the recording of it, that side of it.

And for me, as a coach, my brain has never been so just turned on and stimulated by something that was happening in a room of like, I felt like when I used to wait tables, just like managing all of the tables the best I could and it was so fun. That was just my personal experience of it.

DeDe: And what was so great about that time too, is just like as you were listening to the drama that everyone’s coming up with it was like, it’s so easy for you to be like, “Oh, that would be so simple for you to do this. It’s like, okay, how can I turn that around and use that for myself now?”

And I think you get more of that when they’re working on different things, right? Like you see so many different perspectives of that. So yeah, that was great.

Lindsay: There was also a good, one thing I tried to do was have a good balance of, obviously, coaching. There was lots of coaching happening on all the things that were coming up. But also the more tactical like, how am I actually going to solve this, right? Like does anyone have ideas for this person about how to solve this thing that they’re trying to figure out? What was your kind of experience of that?

DeDe: I loved that it was both, that we had both of those. Because a lot of programs are like, I’m only going to coach you on your mindset. A lot of them are, I’m only going to tell you the how-tos. And so I think that it was great that it was both, I think it’s always the mindset piece is what holds you back, it’s never the tech.

But you need like a jumping off point, right? You need to be like, “Okay, these are the podcast people that I’ve worked with.” I mean, I think that was great that that was all brought about. And then you never shut down those conversations, either. Just like when we were talking about, well, I use a Google form, or I use this. And you just allowed all of it, I think that was really good. I loved all of that. And then it was just so interactive that way too.

Lindsay: I just think it’s so important to hear, you know, like I don’t think that I have better solutions than any of you. So for me, if someone has a question, I might interrupt and say, “Hold on, let’s think about this. Let me coach you on this. And also does anyone have ideas for her?” Right? Like I know you do this in your business, how do you manage it with your clients? Or how have you all done this? Does anybody have a podcast producer, right?

Like all of those things were kind of up for grabs. And I think for me, I just know myself well enough to know that I’ve been to things like this in the past where I get so much mindset coaching and I feel so empowered and so like, yes, like ready to hit the ground running. And then I sit down at my desk when I get home or when the virtual event is over, whatever it is. And I’m like, “Okay, now what?”

DeDe: Yeah, now how do I do all of that?

Lindsay: Yeah, what’s the first step? Oh my gosh. And it like spirals me out and takes me a while to just get to that place of like, okay, now just get going.

And, of course, I do believe that mindset is the most important piece, but without the action, the mindset is nothing, right? You creating the plan, I think, is half the battle because of course more things are going to come up as you’re implementing it. But just even making that plan and saying, “Okay, here’s my very first next step,” so that when you get home to your desk and sit down to work on it, you’re like, “Okay, I have a plan. Here it is, all I have to do for now is start moving and see what happens.”

DeDe: And after that weekend I literally had just everything lined out. Like I’ve never experienced that before where it was just, like you said, there was some shift. I have no idea what it was, but up until that weekend that program had just lived in the future.

And after being at that weekend it was like I just brought it all to the present. And it was like, “Okay, what do we need to do to get this right now?” And going into that weekend, I had no idea what I was going to pick of the thing that I was working on and it worked out. And it’s like everything was the perfect timing.

Lindsay: Yep. So good. And I let everybody pick on their own. And some people came knowing exactly what they wanted to work on. And then there were a few people who showed up with like, “Okay, I think it’s this, what do you think?” And we did some coaching on it at the very first until everyone just felt kind of settled, which was totally fine.

And it just seemed like it worked out really well. And I know, for me, the whole reason I decided to include that is that is kind of the method that I use every single time I’m doing something big like that in my business, whether it’s launching my podcast, or writing a workbook, or creating The Coach Lab, which that took more mental energy than I think I’ve ever used, like on all sides.

And I just was so excited to kind of bring that into the world and into what I do. So I am so grateful to just hear the feedback and hear that you had a good experience with it.

DeDe: Yeah. And I just want to bring up like one of the best things that I got coached on. Like I said, one of my favorite things in your program too, is that everything’s at one time. And I was like, “Oh, I’m going to have to have all these different times and calls.” And what you said to me is like, “But what you want? If this was going to work out perfectly either way, what would you want?”

And I was like, “Why don’t I ask myself that on everything in my life, right?” Like if it was all just going to work out perfectly, which way would I want it? And so I took that question with me on every decision I made that weekend in that program. So like if this is exactly what I wanted, how would I do that?

And it made it so much easier because then I wasn’t constantly questioning well, what would work better for this person or this person? It was just like, no, it’s all going to work out perfectly as long as I’m in that energy that it’s going to work out perfectly. And so yeah, that was amazing.

Lindsay: I love that. And it could be down the road that you see, oh, you know what? I’m thinking through this with The Coach Lab right now where I’m like I really do want to have some kind of second time or something that’s more available for people in different time zones. But I knew that before I created it.

I think it’s like we get into this place where we try to solve all the things that might come up before we start the thing or create the new program or whatever, that we can create so many problems we’re solving for that aren’t even problems, right?

So I always say just start with what do I want? Start there. Ask yourself like, okay, if I pick this what could be the things that would come up for this? And are there any that I actually need to solve for right now? Or do I just get started, see what happens, and then solve for them as they come?

DeDe: Yeah.

Lindsay: Which is so good. Especially for something like a program where your mind goes to like, oh, but there are going to be these, let’s say, 50 people in one space and I have to solve everything that’s going to come up for each of them.

DeDe: Yeah.

Lindsay: Which is pretty much impossible. It’ll make you a little crazy.

DeDe: Yeah, that’s what creates your overwhelm, right? Like thinking about it all at the same time, yeah.

Lindsay: And then I don’t know if this is true for you. But I know it happens for me, which you just said this a minute ago, is a I’ll do that later. And it always is a thing that’s on the list for later. Like I know that programs coming, but I’ll just kind of keep putting it off because there’s just too much to think about, it’s overwhelming.

DeDe: Yeah, for sure.

Lindsay: Thank you so much for being here, this was so fun. If people are listening and they want to know more about your program, or more about just working with you in general, tell them everything. Where can they find you? Where’s the best place? Where do you hang out?

DeDe: So I’m probably on Facebook more than anywhere. So DeDe Anderson Coaching is, @dedeandersoncoaching is my Facebook page. I also have a website, dedeanderson.com. I am putting out posts about weekly just like watch this space for my new program that’s launching in January. And the majority of that is on Facebook.

I did just start a TikTok too, so I’m doing that too. And that’s been kind of fun.

Lindsay: Oh my gosh, this is so fun. Are you doing like dancing and all the crazy things that people do on TikTok?

DeDe: Oh gosh, no, I’m just talking.

Lindsay: Okay. I’m just always so fascinated because I talked about this on, I think the Q&A episode where I admitted my love for TikTok because I talk about social media and how I’m just not really on it a lot. But I’m kind of obsessed with TikTok and that’s the one that I could just scroll for hours. And sometimes I’ll see people out there like you or other coaches. I’m like, “Oh my gosh, I know them. This is crazy, this is amazing.”

DeDe: So exciting, yeah.

Lindsay: The algorithm got it right.

DeDe: Mm-hmm. So yeah, but if you go to my website it’ll link to all my social media platforms too. So yeah.

Lindsay: Perfect. We will link all of that in the show notes. Is there anything else you want to say before we finish up?

DeDe: Just thank you for allowing me to be in this space. It’s been amazing and I am on fire. I’m just so excited to continue this journey and yeah, super pumped.

Lindsay: I’m so grateful you’re here and your clients are so lucky. The work that you do, I think, is just so important. I’m obsessed with it. Just keep going. Everybody needs to work with you. And I’ll see you later.

DeDe: Thank you.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Mastering Coaching Skills. If you want to learn more about my work, come visit me at lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com. That’s Lindsay with an A, D-O-T-Z-L-A-F.com. see you next week.