Ep #14: When Your Client Wants to Quit

Hi, this is Lindsay Dotzlaf and you are listening to Mastering Coaching Skills, episode 14.

To really compete in the coaching industry, you have to be great at coaching. That’s why every week, I will be answering your questions, sharing my stories, and offering tips and advice so you can be the best at what you do. Let’s get to work.

Hello coaches. How is it going today on this amazing Tuesday if you’re listening in real time? If not, hope you’re having an amazing day, whatever day it is for you. This episode is going to be short and to the point, so get ready to take notes if that’s what you love to do.

So many of you tell me that you take notes. I also have a time hack for you in case you want it. I think I’ve already said this but just in case, you can go to my website and get show notes. So if you want to just listen, or if you’re driving, or you’re in the car and you want to just listen, and then go to the website and you can copy and paste into a document or notes so that you have them. Do that. But also, if you love to just write it out by hand, do that too. You do you.

So first, before I get started, I have to just say a huge giant thank you to all of you. This podcast is just about two months in, or at least it is while I’m recording this and it has hit – this blows my mind, but I’ve had about 10,000 downloads a month so far. What is happening?

Obviously, this is my first podcast so I have absolutely nothing to compare this number to, but for me, it may as well be one million. That’s what it feels like. So I just wanted to give you a huge, huge thank you. And what I want you to take away from that is I want you to just use this as proof as whatever your idea is as a coach, whatever you think you want to coach, whatever your idea is in the coaching industry, even if you think no one will want this or I’ve never seen this done before, please keep going.

Unless it’s – I may have said this on the podcast before, but if it’s a niche where there are five people in the entire world that would fit in that niche, maybe think about expanding that a little bit. But if it’s just a thought that no one’s going to want this because they’re going to want this other thing instead, seriously, keep going.

Sell yourself on it so hard, do that work because I feel like this podcast and my mastermind are such good proof that you can work through that and really offer something that people are really hungry for. And maybe there’s just not proof of it because no one else is doing it yet, which who knows? I’m not saying I’m the only person in the whole world that does what I do, but in my mind, that is what it felt like when I started creating it.

So even when I started my mastermind, Coaching Masters, which by the way is open for enrollment right now if you’re listening in real time. Shameless plug. I really thought no one would buy it.

I thought maybe a few of my clients who were already working with me, who would want to keep working with me would buy it. But I really thought that it was going to be maybe a one-time thing, or a two-time thing. How many coaches could there possibly be that would want to enroll in that offer?

And really, my thought was like, what crazy coaches would want to be in a mastermind that doesn’t talk about just making money? And now I can see how silly that is, but it just felt so true.

And on the other side of that though, I really also strongly believed that there was a gap, at least in my experience, a bit of a gap in the coaching industry in between the learning how to coach and getting certified and then making all of the money. There was an application gap in my opinion.

So that’s really where the idea for Coaching Masters, my mastermind, that’s where the idea for that came from. And it’s about to be – I’m enrolling right now for the fourth round, which mind-blown. And it’s so fun. My favorite part about it is that there really are coaches from all over the coaching industry.

All different certifications, all different backgrounds, all different niches. And the common thread is they really just want to be the best coach for their clients. So some of them are already making a lot of money, some of them even more than me, which is so fun. Some of them are leaving maybe corporate coaching gigs where they really have a specific way that they know how to coach, but they’re just not used to doing it for clients that aren’t just supplied automatically to them.

Some of them are newer coaches that have a very specific method that they were certified in, and so they’ve coached some clients but they feel a little unsure of where to go after working through the specific tool that they have. So I just help them expand on that.

And some coaches just love to learn all they can about coaching, which that’s kind of me. I feel like I’m a combo of a lot of those things I just said. And so here we are. I just created this thing that I saw as kind of a missing piece and you guys are truly blowing my mind.

It turns out you do want this, whether you have worked with me in the past or if you’ve been in my masterminds or you’re in my mastermind currently, or you just come here and use this podcast to strengthen your skill and to be a better coach, I am so grateful for every single one of you because this is my dream come true and I’m having so much fun.

So for today, in Coaching Masters, my mastermind, sometimes we focus on going deep on how to use what you already know and how to feel super calm and confident helping your clients no matter what in your sessions or in your groups or your programs.

But sometimes, we talk about over specific topics that come up for coaches. And that is what I am going to do today because it’s also a question that many of you have sent me. And I’m just going to give you step-by-step, this is exactly what I do in this situation.

So here we go, I’m going to walk you through a specific solution for OMG Lindsay, my client wants to quit, what do I do? I get this question all the time in my mastermind. You guys email it to me all the time.

So listen, the first thing I want to tell you is I get this question from coaches throughout the industry. New coaches, brand new coaches, all the way up to million-dollar coaches. So just know this happens to everyone. The world is not ending, nothing has gone terribly wrong, you’re not a terrible person, you’re not a terrible coach. None of those things. You’re just a human having thoughts about someone wanting to quit.

So my answer in the most simple form is you let them go, send them on their way with all of the love. You give them their money back or pro-rate the money, whatever your policy is, and you never think about it again.

But of course, there can be a lot more nuance to it than this. So here’s a longer answer with steps. I know you guys love the steps. You tell me that all the time. Makes it very helpful and clear for you.

So step one, you ask yourself what if nothing has gone wrong? This is one of my favorite questions and very soon I’m going to have an episode all about questions. But this is just one of my favorite questions to immediately either kind of remove the trigger altogether, like you could just believe this isn’t a problem, nothing has gone wrong.

Or it’s going to bring up lots of thoughts and now you know what you get to coach yourself on, which is step two, coach yourself on whatever came up for you in step one. Because what if nothing has gone wrong either felt very comforting for you or you really want to argue with all the things that have gone wrong.

So write out all your thoughts about it, maybe ask yourself some follow-up questions. What am I making this mean about me? About myself? What am I making this mean about my coaching? What does this mean about my offer? My ability to make money or to succeed as a coach? Anything else that comes up for you. Those are just some examples. And then really coach yourself on anything that comes up.

Step three, only after you’re back down on Earth feeling very calm, maybe offer to coach the client. But listen, here’s the rule. Number one rule. You only do this for them, not for you. So if you can see that they are just scared or uncertain or whatever it is, for sure, offer to coach them.

Ask them questions. Really see what’s going on with them, why they want to quit. But if they are just like, no, I just want to quit and they don’t like your coaching, they don’t like your coaching style, they don’t like you, whatever it is, just love them and let them go. Not a problem. The only time it’s a problem is if you’re just making it mean all of the things about you.

Step four, ask yourself if there’s anything to learn. So for example, if one client quits, you probably aren’t going to spend much time on step four. Just move on. But let’s say this happens often or maybe you have a group offer and more than one or two people quit, or you have a program with lots of people enrolled and a large percentage want to quit, now you just want to think about it.

You want to examine what’s happening. Again, go back to step two if needed and coach yourself because there’s no need to make it mean anything about you as a human or anything about the success of your business.

But if there is a large percentage of people wanting to quit, you might just ask yourself, kind of do an evaluation of what is going on here and is it something I want to fix, or is it something I could be more clear about maybe in my marketing or when I talk about what I’m selling. Because maybe it’s not something you want to fix, but people are buying your product thinking it’s going to be something different, and they see what it is, they’re like, oh no, this isn’t actually what I wanted.

Step five, move on and never think about it again. Because truly, I promise you, any time you spend fretting about clients that want to quit or clients that have quit, or worrying about a refund or trying to convince someone to stay, all you’re doing is taking all of that time away from finding your future clients or loving on your current clients. There is nothing good to come from it.

Okay, so I gave you all the steps and now I want to give you a simple analogy to think about every time this comes up for you or every time this happens. So let’s say instead of selling coaching, you’re selling t-shirts. The t-shirts are all the same. They’re the same color, same design, people go online, they order your shirts.

Let’s say you sell your first 10 shirts and one person sends it back with a note that says I hated this, it didn’t fit my body right. But the other nine people are telling you it’s the best t-shirts of their entire life of all time.

Now, if you follow the steps I just gave you and you’re selling t-shirts, this would probably be really simple, right? You would just refund them, you would move on, probably never think about it again. You might have a few thoughts if it’s really your first 10 shirts and you’re kind of new at it.

You might have a few thoughts about having to give the refund or being unsure of why someone didn’t like the t-shirt, or offended or whatever, but you wouldn’t change your business plan or make a whole new t-shirt for just that one person. You would just move on.

And if you kept going and you got a return every once in a while, it wouldn’t be a problem if you’re selling lots and lots of t-shirts. There would be a few people saying this isn’t for me, and you would be fine.

Now, let’s say 50% of the t-shirts are being returned with similar reasons. Maybe everyone that returns their shirt is saying the t-shirt is too wide and too short and the fit is awful. Or worst fabric ever, way too scratchy. This actually sounds like reviews of shirts.

If that was the case, you might just take a look at the product and see if you want to make changes. You might consider, oh, there’s a lot of people giving me the same feedback, maybe I need to change something about my product.

Or maybe that’s exactly what your product is and you love it. Maybe it’s a $5 t-shirt and you’re like, yes, obviously it’s scratchy, that’s the kind of t-shirt we sell. Yes, it is a crop top. It’s supposed to be boxy and short. But you look at your website and oh, it doesn’t say those things. Not that you would put scratchy on your website.

But maybe the pictures are distorted, they don’t make it known that it’s a crop top, or the description doesn’t match what they’re getting. Maybe you make changes to that. But you probably wouldn’t make it mean that you’re a terrible person, or that you don’t know what you’re doing. You would just keep fixing it and evaluating it and moving on.

So I know this is such a simple, simple example or analogy, but I made it that way on purpose because when a client quits and your brain freaks out and tells you all of the awful things, just ask yourself, what if I was selling t-shirts? How would I respond?

That is all for today, my loves. I will be back next week. Can’t wait to see you, talk to you, I guess. And if you love this analogy, just know so many more like this in Coaching Masters. And if you’re listening in real time, applications are open now on my website. Talk next week. Bye.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Mastering Coaching Skills. If you want to learn more about my work, come visit me at lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com. That’s Lindsay with an A, D-O-T-Z-L-A-F.com. See you next week.