Mastering Coaching Skills with Lindsay Dotzlaf | Achieving Your Big Goals: The HowLast week, I shared the first steps for achieving your big goals and how you can help your clients do the same. And in this episode, I’m moving onto the second part of this process, which will answer the question that tends to come up for us right after we decide on a big goal, which is: how?

We set a big goal, and immediately our brain goes to the how, wanting to know every step and every action you’re going to take. And in this episode, I’m showing you what you can do to get to the bottom of the how, so you can get on with hitting your goals and moving forward as a coach.

Join me on the podcast this week as I share the second step for achieving your big goals. I’m sharing why our brains love to create drama when we set ourselves new goals, and what you can do to instead reflect on what has already worked for you, and harness that so you can take the next leap towards your goal.

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I am so excited to hear what you all think about the podcast – if you have any feedback, please let me know! You can leave me a rating and review in Apple Podcasts, which helps me create an excellent show and helps other coaches find it, too.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why our brain is so desperate to know the how, and why that’s okay.
  • Where I see so many coaches get caught up in everything they have to do differently to reach their new goals, and why this isn’t helpful.
  • How to see what’s already working, and why this is an important part of the how for achieving new goals.
  • What you can do to help your clients see where they’re focusing on the wrong things when chasing their goals.

Listen to the Full Episode:

 

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Hey, this is Lindsay Dotzlaf and you’re listening to Mastering Coaching Skills, episode 33.

To really compete in the coaching industry, you have to be great at coaching. That’s why every week, I will be answering your questions, sharing my stories, and offering tips and advice so you can be the best at what you do. Let’s get to work.

Hello hello my friends, how are you today? I have definitely been better. We’ve been dealing with a little bit of a stomach bug in our house this week. And let me just say, stomach bugs are probably my least favorite kinds of bugs for my kids to have. I mean, not that I like any of them, just if I was going to pick one, it would be one that had a little less liquids coming from all the places.

It has been a little bit of a week, but that’s okay. I’m here, I’m excited to record this for you. And honestly, if that’s the price I pay for being out in the world and around more of our friends and family again, just some germs, right? I’ll take it though. That’s just normal. So let’s just dive right in.

Today, I’m going to give you the second step of helping your clients hit goals. And, of course, you can use them on yourself. This will also help you hit your big goals. So if you haven’t yet listened to episode 32, pause this one and hop back over there and listen to that one first. Or you can just keep listening and do them out of order like the rebel you might be. Either way, it’s going to be perfect.

So last week I talked about the first step. And I talked about it in reference to hitting my 200K launch goal. And I also helped you see how you can use it to coach your clients into hitting their goals, and into hitting your own goals and in your own self coaching.

So, to recap from last week the first step is starting with what you already believe is possible and stepping into that feeling of certainty, and calm, and just possibility, right? And letting that be the mindset that you go into the goal with. Now I’m going to give you the next step which answers the question that comes into our minds usually right after we decide what our goal is. Which is, but how do I do it? Right?

You set the goal, whatever your goal is, and immediately your brain goes to the how, right? It wants to know every step, every action you’re going to take. And this is okay as long as you do step one first, right, which is finding the thoughts, finding the feeling, stepping into that certainty. There is always a how to hitting goals, right? It’s not just our thoughts. We use our thoughts to drive the actions.

So step two of hitting your goal is asking yourself, “What am I already doing that is working?” And stay with me, even if you’re like no, no, no, but I need to do more, or it’s not working, or whatever the first thought is that comes up for you if you’re thinking about your business. Stay with me, I’m going to show you why this works and why we do it, right? What am I already doing that’s working and that I like doing?

So if I use myself and my 200K launch as the example, when I asked myself this question about how my clients were already coming to me, and more specifically, where were they coming from, right? Where were the clients that have joined my mastermind in the past, where were they coming from? And here are my answers.

Number one, my podcast, right here with you guys. Number two, social media. Number three, my email list. And number four, live coaching calls when I do them.

And here’s why this step is so important, because so often we set large goals, and we think about how we’re going to hit them. And our brains love to go to the shiny new things that we think we need to do in order to hit the goal that we’ve never hit before. Or even if it’s the same goal we’ve had in the past, for some reason our brains just really love to tell us, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, that worked that time, but it’s not going to work again.” Right?

And when you do that, when you go to that shiny new thing, learning the new thing, it takes you away from the thing that is already working. Or that is the danger, that it can take you out of the thing that’s already working.

So think about your business for just a minute, especially if you’re already making some money and you’re setting big goals in your business. How often do you think about the new things you need to learn? Like maybe ads, or funnels, or amazing sales copy, or whatever it is, right, in order to hit your new goal. Just think about that for a second. And if you don’t, good job. But I know because I’ve coached so many of you that that is true, it is what a lot of you do.

Now I’m not saying we don’t ever add in those new things, and actually that’s what the very next step episode is going to be about, that is the third step. But what I am saying is that you just don’t want to take the energy away from the things that are already working, right? You don’t want to shift your focus and shift your energy in a different direction when there are, I promise you, no matter what, no matter who you are listening to this, there are things that are working.

Even if you are a newer coach and you’ve only signed a couple clients up until this point, this still means something is working, right? Even if you didn’t hit the goals you set, something is working. Those clients are coming from somewhere. You found those two clients somehow, so don’t discount that piece.

I also see this a lot with coaches right after they make their first $100,000, right? You have your $100,000 year and something happens in your brain, where you think you have to change the way you’re doing everything in order to hit the next big goal, right? In order to make more than that something happens where you’re like, “Oh, okay, all of this that’s working, it got me here. And now I have to do things completely different.” If that’s you knock it off.

And again, I’m never saying don’t add in new things, the whole next episode is going to be about that. But I’m just saying don’t forget the things that are working.

One example I’ll give you on this for my business is that, again, probably right around that first 100K year that I had I decided to create an email list. And I think I actually already had one, I just didn’t really use it. So I really just decided I was going to lean into building that list and getting better at email copy. And I just knew this was going to be the thing to help me hit my next big goals.

So when I did that, what happened was I took so much of my attention off of the thing that was working really, really well. At that point most of my clients were coming from social media. So when I took my attention off of that and focused, put so much time and energy into writing emails, and by the way, I had fewer than I don’t know, probably, maybe fewer than 50 people on my list at that point, right? Like my list was so small, which is fine. Send them emails for sure, right?

But to put all of my best time and energy into that tiny little list instead of, you know, my 4,000 Facebook followers, or whatever it is, right? Like, that’s such a huge difference. Facebook was already working, social media was already working, why would I take all of my attention off of that? But I did. And I didn’t see it at first and I was like, “Gosh, this is so weird.”

I, you know, kind of stopped signing clients at the rate that I had been. And I felt very frustrated and I didn’t understand it. And then one day it all, of course, clicked like, “Oh my gosh, I’m not doing the thing that works, right, I know how to do this. Now I’m just adding in another skill.”

So if I bring it back to the launch that I just had and I notice that these top four places clients are coming from, that is the guide of where I focused most of my energy for my launch. And if most of my clients come from this podcast, then my number one job in my launch, or the thing that I focus on, put most of my good energy into, is to be sure I’m putting that time and energy into my podcast episodes. Not doing everything else first and then winging it over here. Right?

We love to do that and it’s so counterproductive, right? We’re like, “Oh, this new thing, I’m really going to put lots of time into it. I’m going to learn how to do ads, I’m going to learn how to write great copy.” Whatever it is. I could give you 100 examples, right? All of the things will work, you just don’t ever want to take your time and attention off the thing that’s already working.

So there are a couple reasons that this is really useful. The first one is obvious, make sure that the thing that’s working keeps working, right? So even if you’ve changed your offer, you’ve changed your structure, you’ve changed the number of clients you’re going to sign, you’ve changed your money goals, whatever it is, the thing that’s working will keep working as long as you keep working it, right?

But also, it helps keep you out of lots of drama. So for me, writing and recording this podcast at this point where I am right now, isn’t something I stress over, it’s not something I worry about. I don’t feel like I’m learning how to do it. I already know how to do it. It’s really fun. It’s honestly one of my favorite parts of my business. So the more time and energy I spend podcasting, and thinking about my episodes, and planning them for you, and thinking about you guys and what you want, the better it’s going to work and the more fun I get to have.

So let’s take this and shift the focus to your clients and to coaching clients. I’m going to give you some examples, as usual. And, you know, these are just some random examples I came up with but I want you to think about specifically your clients and what this might look like for them.

So let’s say you’re a stop over drinking coach, I don’t think that that’s an example I’ve used before. And your client has a goal to have no more than two glasses of wine a week. It will be easy for that client to come up with all of the situations where this is going to be hard, right?

Or it might be hard or they’re going to worry about when they go out with friends, when the kids are a little extra whiny while they cook dinner, I know nothing about that one. When it’s a beautiful day, after a hard day of work, right, et cetera, et cetera. Whatever their times are that they really just love to have a glass of wine, their brain is going to go to those places and think, “Oh, see, it’s going to be so hard.”

But what about all the times that it’s not hard? There’s actually probably more times for most people that are, you know, trying to cut back on a reasonable amount of, let’s say, glasses of wine, right? When you help your client see all the times when they’re already doing it and when it’s already easy, can you see how that is really useful for them? Right? It’s like, “Oh yeah, I actually am really good at this skill sometimes, or most of the time, right?

I don’t usually wake up and think I would like a glass a wine. I don’t usually want a glass of wine when I’m, you know, volunteering at the kid’s school.” Although maybe they do. Who knows, right? I’m just making up examples. But do you see what I’m saying? It’s like take their brain to the place where it’s like, “Oh, this can be easy. I do know how to do this”.

Here’s another example. Maybe you’re a marriage coach and your client sets a goal to feel closer to her partner. It’s only natural her brain will start thinking of all the times when she doesn’t feel close to her partner. But if you can find the times that she does, it will be so much easier for her to believe that it’s possible more often. Right?

It’s truly showing her like, “Hey, you already know how to do this. You already have this skill, this is not going to be hard. It doesn’t have to be hard. There are just a few trickier places, and we’re going to work on those.”

I’ll give you one last example. Let’s say you’re a health coach and you’re helping your client create a plan for lunches, because that’s the meal where she tends to skip eating or just grab something convenient that’s not healthy. A really great place to start in this situation would be what do you already love to eat that is healthy, and is either already convenient or can easily be made convenient. Right?

Like instead of changing everything about how she thinks about lunch, or trying to coach her into, you know, she needs to take time for herself to cook a meal, and make a salad, and grill some chicken or, you know, whatever it is. Start with what she already knows how to do, guaranteed.

In the situation your client isn’t only eating junk food, right? Not every single day is she skipping lunch, every single day is she just grabbing a, you know, granola bar. Doing this with your clients will help them create quick wins, which means they’re more likely to be on board with this whole coaching thing, right? And to stick to their goals.

So try this, let me know how it goes. Tell me on social media, on Instagram if you follow me there. Send me a message. Email me. Use this in your business and with your clients.

Again, step one, what do you already believe is possible? Start there, practice feeling that certainty and taking action from that place. Step two, start with what is already working and put most of your best energy there.

And then next week we will go through the third step, which is adding something new or making changes and kind of when to do that and when not to do that. And kind of the rules to use when you do it. I will see you next week. And until then, just practice leaning into the things that are already working. You’ve got this, in your business, with your clients, everywhere there are already things that are working for you and for them. Bye.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Mastering Coaching Skills. If you want to learn more about my work, come visit me at lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com. That’s Lindsay with an A, D-O-T-Z-L-A-F.com. see you next week.

 

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