Lindsay Dotzlaf

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Mastering Coaching Skills Lindsay Dotzlaf | Podcast Party Bonus: Celebrating as a Coaching Couple with Lindsey Mango and Chris Goodman

Podcast Party Bonus: Celebrating as a Coaching Couple with Lindsey Mango and Chris Goodman

Welcome in to my last Podcast Party! I hope you’ve had as much fun as me and my guests have, and learned so many valuable nuggets about the importance of celebrating your life and business from all of my favorite people.

We are closing out my Podcast Party week with two very special guests. Lindsey Mango is a life coach who helps people create anything but average lives and businesses, and her husband Chris Goodman is an executive life coach for CEOs and entrepreneurs. As you can imagine, as a married couple who are both coaches, they have a unique perspective to share on all things celebration, and I can’t wait for you to hear our conversation.

Join us today as Lindsey and Chris share their take on how they like to celebrate themselves and each other, and how they implement celebrations into their coaching practices. They’re telling us how they navigate being a coach versus a partner, their thoughts on both being entrepreneurs, and the one thing they’re each celebrating right now.

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • What being married and in the life coaching industry is like for Lindsey and Chris.
  • How they navigate being a coach versus being a partner to each other.
  • The kinds of party guests Lindsey and Chris are.
  • How they like to celebrate themselves and each other. 
  • Lindsey and Chris’s thoughts on both being entrepreneurs, and how they navigate comparing their business goals. 
  • How they each teach and use celebration in their coaching practices. 
  • One thing they’re celebrating in their lives and businesses right now. 
  • What I do to keep celebrations at the forefront of my mind. 

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • For even more resources on making your work as a coach and success for your clients easier, I’ve created a freebie just for you. All you have to do to get it is sign up to my email list at the bottom of the home page!
  • If you want to hone in on your personal coaching style and what makes you unique, The Coach Lab is for you! Applications are open, so come and join us!
  • Join Coaching Masters here!
  • Click here to submit your questions for my next Q&A episode
  • Lindsey Mango: Website | Instagram | Podcast
  • Chris Goodman: Website | Instagram | Podcast
  • Puss in Boots (Movie)
  • Dr. Keith Waggoner

Full Episode Transcript:

To really compete in the coaching industry, you have to be great at coaching. That’s why every week, I will be answering your questions, sharing my stories, and offering tips and advice so you can be the best at what you do. Let’s get to work.

Hey coach, welcome to the podcast party, come on in. I am so happy you’re here. So this week I’m doing something a little bit different as you may have noticed. If you’re like, wait, it’s Monday, or it’s Wednesday, or it’s Thursday and there is a podcast today, yes, this is an entire week of podcast party bonuses.

So as I said on my episode last week, this month I am focusing the entire month on celebrations. On celebrating, why we celebrate, the importance of celebrating, and just really digging into some things that come up when we talk about celebrating and just why it is so, so, so important for us to do, especially if we’re growing businesses or really working on being the best coach possible for our clients which is, of course, my favorite thing, and also important for your clients, right?

A lot of times we love to set big goals, we love to help our clients with big goals. And it’s really important to take time along the way to celebrate, to see the small wins, to say like oh, I’m so proud of myself for achieving this piece, for doing this thing.

So this week happens to be my birthday. So for my birthday what I decided was I wanted to have a party, a podcast party. So every day this week, every day, I am interviewing people from my life who I’m very close to that I have asked to be on the podcast and we are talking all things celebrating, all things fun.

And I will say, when I first started recording these I thought, “Oh, I’m not really sure where this is going to go and this will just be fun to record.” But I’m going to tell you right now, some of these conversations are going to blow your mind. Some of them get very, very deep. And all of these people know me very well, so they tend to be a little bit more of a casual conversation.

So I just want to give a caveat, if you are listening with children, you might pop in some headphones or save this one for later because throughout this week as I’m interviewing my party guests we just talk about some adult related themes, just like you would at any adult party. So that is what’s happening, happy podcast party, come on in and join the fun.

Lindsay: Hello, I am so happy to have you both here today. We have two very special guests who are my good friends, I’m just going to let them introduce themselves.

Lindsey Mango-Goodman: Hi, I am Lindsey Mango-Goodman and I’m a life coach who helps people create anything but average lives and businesses.

Chris Goodman: Hello, my name is Barack Obama. My name is Chris Goodman, I am also an executive life coach and I am Mr. what did you say? Mango-Goodman. How’s that for an introduction?

Lindsay: Yeah, let’s just start there because people have asked me every once in a while, so I’m really good friends with both of you, people know that I’m great friends with Lindsey, they see us together. And I’ve had a couple of people say, “So is her last name Mango or is it Goodman or what’s her name?” So people want to know.

Lindsey Mango: So my last name is Mango. I know, someone I met the other day was like, “Wait so your actual last name is Mango? I just thought like I should pick a name like something coconut and make that my Instagram handle.” I was like, “No, it’s actually Mango.”

So my married name is Goodman, but my business is Lindsey Mango. So in like regular life I go by Lindsey Goodman, and in business world I go by Lindsey Mango.

Lindsay: I love it. Are your clients ever confused by it or they just, you’ve told them and now they just understand and know what’s happening? They just all know you as Mango.

Lindsey Mango: Yeah, I think I just go by Mango pretty much in that arena all the time.

Chris: Yeah, and I usually go by Chris or Chris Goodman.

Lindsay: Perfect.

Lindsey Mango: He doesn’t have to be called Mr. Mango anymore at hotels.

Mango: That’s true. We were in Mexico and Lindsey had made the reservation so we check in and they’re like, “Mr. Mango. Mango, Mango, Mango.” And they start singing this song. I’m like, “What is happening right now?” And I’m just looking at them almost cross-eyed and they’re like, “I guess you don’t know that song.”

Apparently there’s a song in Mexican, in Mexico culture that is about Mango, like a woman whose name is Mango and she’s very attractive. And it’s like, “Mango, Mango, Mango,” and there’s like a whole song and they didn’t just make it up about Lindsey. But all week long I was Mr. Mango and every person that we met was like, “Oh, like Mango, Mango, Mango.”

Lindsay: This is incredible, I’ve never heard this story. And I’m surprised that that didn’t encourage you to change your last name to Mango instead of her taking yours.

Chris: I actually changed it to El Conquistador for a while, but it was too long to write on forms.

Lindsay: I wish that everybody could just see your faces right now because you make a joke and then Lindsey makes a face like, “Why would you ever say that?” That’s the dynamic of what is happening. That’s what I am seeing, unfortunately nobody else gets to see it and it’s too bad.

Okay, so let’s first talk about what each of you do. Because I think that as people are listening, they’re listening all week to these different podcasts, one thing that I have said is that everybody that comes on we’re kind of talking about celebrating and talking about why it’s important and diving into that. And I think one unique perspective of the two of you is that you both have similar businesses, and you’re married and you live together.

And I just think I’m in all of that all the time, because I can’t imagine doing that. So I want to explore that just a little bit. So tell them kind of what you do and what your work is in the world.

Lindsey Mango: So I’m a life coach and I actually just recently made a little bit of a shift. But I kind of started helping coaches start coaching businesses. Now I’m focused on helping people create anything but average lives and I’ve been doing it now for what, six years? And got Chris into this business as well.

Lindsay: Love it.

Chris: That’s a true story. I was in real estate and I was coaching real estate agents. And I met this woman named Lindsay Mango and she was coaching people all over the world from the rooftop bar in New Orleans, in a hat and a bathing suit by the pool, and I was like, “What the hell am I doing wrong with my life?”

No, I’m kidding. But she really did open the world to me because I loved coaching. But what I knew of coaching was real estate and business specific. There was some life coaching tossed in there, but it definitely wasn’t life coaching as all three of us know it here.

So Lindsay and I met in April that year, by July I quit real estate, started my own life coaching business and never looked back. Right now I coach CEOs and entrepreneurs, usually in the upper six figure, lower seven figure range on all things life, business, leadership, and relationships.

Lindsay: I remember when Lindsey told me you were starting a coaching business and I just thought this is the worst idea ever. Because I was like, “Well, it was nice knowing you, I don’t see how that could possibly work.”

Chris: Why did you look at it glass half empty at first?

Lindsay: I don’t know, I think just looking at it through my perspective of my experience, kind of explaining to Nate what coaching is and just having that experience. Which a lot of my clients have also had, we’ve coached on it a lot of just in the beginning where you really are working on believing that you know what you’re doing and that you’re a coach, right? He was just the person who was always there every day in my life that was like, “Wait, what is it again?”

And he was not, he wasn’t probably even doubting me or saying anything bad about it. But my brain took that as, “Don’t attack me. What? How dare you challenge my belief in what I’m doing.” So that’s why, I just thought this is crazy.

Chris: You should have met or should have heard what some of the lawyers that I used to know had to say about me becoming a “life coach.”

Lindsay: I work with a lot of lawyers now who are becoming life coaches.

Lindsey Mango: Yeah.

Chris: Oh do you? There you go. Yeah, yeah, we’ve come a long way in what, six, seven years as an industry.

Lindsey Mango: So wait, you want to know like what’s the dynamic like where we both have coaching businesses?

Lindsay: Yeah, that’s what I was going to ask next. What is it like? What’s it like on a day to day? I mean, I can imagine it, but I want you to describe it for people.

Lindsey Mango: Well, we are humans and then we’re life coaches. So I think it comes, I think it’s amazing. I think every relationship, in my mind, is meant to be different. And I think for Chris and I, it really works for us. Like the way I, I think about what I want and I think he’s the same but he can speak for himself, is I want someone who challenges my brain, and who pushes me, and who thinks about life differently than me.

And so I think that piece really works for us because that’s what we’re doing. Sometimes we’re having sparring competitions in our brains about, you know, what’s true, and different perspectives. And Chris is making a face because it’s probably more me because that’s really enjoyable for me. But, so I think that really works.

And I think, obviously, everybody’s relationship kind of serves a different purpose. But I think that’s something we both craved in our, you know, long term relationship. But I also think it comes with its own set of challenges, unique challenges.

For example, I could talk about coaching and business like all day. Lindsay knows, she’s shared a room with me on trips and my eyes open and my brain is going and I want to start talking about all the things. And so I’m very excitable. And Chris has a much more calm demeanor and sometimes wants a little bit of a break.

And so I would say that’s one of the bigger challenges, is figuring out when to be a coach to each other and when to push each other, versus when to be a partner and a supporter and someone who’s there to listen. And I’ll just be quite honest that I would say Chris does a much better job at this than I do.

I like always want to jump into the coach seat first and help and, you know, the first step of any change is awareness. So sometimes it’s hard because we’re not always aware of what’s happening. And so I find myself wanting to jump in and share things and point things out. And Chris isn’t always available for that. And I have to learn.

Chris: So diplomatic.

Lindsey Mango: Chris always doesn’t like that, so I have to pull back and remember. But yeah, that’s kind of my take on it. You can share yours. Oh, God, we’re throwing it to the wolves, here we go.

Chris: Wait, before I jump in I want to see if Lindsay has any clarifying questions because there was a lot in there.

Lindsay: I was just nodding a lot when she was saying that, but that is the experience I have of her as well in staying in hotels with her. And I’m guessing, Chris, that you have developed ways to deal with it like I did. Which was like, “Lindsey, I love you so much and I’m just not awake yet.”

Lindsey Mango: I’ve slowed down a little though, than I used to be, right?

Lindsay: Yes.

Chris: What? No you haven’t.

Lindsay: Well, one thing I will say from my experience, and this might be different than someone who lives with you. But from my experience you’re very good at taking that feedback and just like, “Oh, I can see how that might be a lot for you when you don’t love to just wake up and talk first thing in the morning.” Maybe I need coffee first and you’re like, “Oh, yeah, fine. Got it.”

Lindsey Mango: I will say I think this is also something that I find this happens with a lot of very excitable people, like myself, is they tend to let that like dim themselves and make themselves wrong for that. Like, oh gosh, my excitement is too much, or my enthusiasm is too much. And I think through this work, I don’t make it mean anything about that part of myself.

Like I love that part of myself, and I still let it come through. And I’m just like, oh, okay, now’s not the time. And I work hard to respect that, sometimes I’m not the best with Chris. I’m like, “Are you sure?” But I think that is a helpful component of it, is I don’t let it like dim that and I’m just like, oh, of course, people are different, they don’t want this right now, that’s totally fine.

And I just think that is what makes it work in our house because I don’t take it personally when Chris says he doesn’t want to hear my coaching sometimes.

Chris: Most of the time.

Lindsey Mango: I am human.

Lindsay: Well, my guess is that Chris also, I have to say Chris and I have a lot in common. We have similar sense of humor, we have similar lots of things. And my guess is, and then he can answer this question, but my guess is, that’s also one of his favorite things about you. Because that’s how I feel about it, right?

It’s like no, don’t change it. I love it so much, just maybe not at 7am. Like maybe we just have a time like we start at a different time.

Chris: Well, now we get up even earlier because we have a little person living with us.

Lindsay: Yes.

Chris: And this eight month old gets up at 6am at the latest it seems. So yeah, we start our coaching at about 6:03am most days. No, I’ll say it this way, that one of my favorite proverbs is iron sharpens iron. And that’s how we have always been together, even when we were dating. We would test ideas, we would explore why one person thought one way versus another way.

When I first started dating her and her dad could tell that we were serious he pulled me aside as we were leaving one day and he said, “I can tell you’re good for her because you will actually challenge her, whereas everybody else gets steamrolled by her.” And I think that’s our dynamic, is that we appreciate, we usually let the best idea win.

And it’s not about either one of us being right, it’s about what’s the healthiest option or what’s the most empowering way forward here. Not so much about what did you say, what did I say? Or who’s right or who’s wrong? Don’t get me wrong, we’re human, sometimes it’s about who’s right. I’m not saying it’s usually me. I mean, I wouldn’t go so far as to say it’s usually me, but it’s, you know.

Lindsey Mango: That’s not true.

Lindsay: What are we talking, like 75%?

Chris: I mean, it usually just means more than 50%, right?

Lindsay: Okay.

Chris: Anyway, no, I think that’s enough though. Like we’re human, we’re a married couple just like any other married couple. We just happen to specialize in how minds process information and how emotions come out of that. And so we have a different tool chest to bring to every conversation.

Lindsey Mango: I also think that it sharpens ourselves in all the ways that we are talking about here, but also in a different way. Because I think it’s really challenging, it’s just like with clients, right? Where watching them, you know, having them make a decision that you might be like, “Hmm, not the best decision.” But, you know, you got to let them build their own self-trust and then coach them on that.

I think that’s one of the challenging parts of this, for Chris I’m sure as well and myself, is to maybe, like I remember times early on where I might have pointed something out and I saw it really triggered him. And I was like, “Okay, we’re done with that.” And like two years later he’s like, “Oh, I see what’s happening here.” Like same thing for him pointing something out in me.

And it’s really challenging, right, to watch someone that you love and care about sometimes struggle and know that you have a solution for it. And I will say it pushes me to be a better coach in my own mind because I have to look at the discomfort that I want to avoid by watching Chris maybe struggle with something. And maybe it takes a year for him to see it or vice versa, I think, for him. Or sometimes it takes five years.

But I think that also helps me continue to grow and take responsibility for my emotional world, when I just want to like jump in and fix it. Which I’m sure is going to help me as Eva grows, my daughter, because the discomfort of watching her fail will be its own thing. But I do think that helps us grow in kind of a unique way where it’s like I just have to get comfortable with my discomfort of maybe watching him suffer a little bit. And I’m guessing the same for you too.

Chris: That’s a two way street. I mean, coaching brings a different level of awareness to how you think, how you feel, how you speak, how you listen. And it’s almost impossible for a really good coach to turn that off, right? You don’t just wake up and turn your coach brain off most days, unless it’s like Sunday. I’m kidding.

So I think that’s just, it’s almost like a shared personality that we’ve cultivated that like, okay, we think a little differently because we’re both coaches. So some conversations might be more intense, or I’ll say fierce, than normal people, right, who aren’t really in the coaching space. I feel like we’re getting into generalizations though. So did you have a specific thing that you wanted us to talk about with this?

Lindsay: Well, so what I was going to just add, and then I was going to move on after this. But one thing that I was going to add is just I actually think this is amazing practice because just wait until you have a 12 year old living with you that you are like, “Oh no, no, no, let me fix everything. Let me just tell you how all of this can be so much better.”

And then you might try once and she’ll be like, “That’s not for me.” Okay, what’s your idea? And that’s even more challenging, for me at least, as a partner.

Lindsey Mango: Oh, I think it will be for sure.

Lindsay: Because it’s just a different dynamic, right? Because then you really want to remove all the pain and just all the suffering and all the like, I just know how to make this better, let’s just examine how you’re thinking about it. But a 12 year old, they don’t really care to do that so much. Or at least I haven’t figured out the way. I’m sure that there are coaches that are better at it, with my own daughter especially.

So okay, so we kind of skipped one thing that I have been doing with every guest that I have on. And I actually think what you just said all kind of leads into this, which is talking about, I’ve been kind of telling people like if I invited you over, if I invited you to a party at my house, what kind of party guest you are. Kind of how you like to celebrate, how you show up for that just in life.

And so I’m going to do that and then you can tell me what you think about it and what you think about like what I say about the other person. I’ve been around both of you enough that I am pretty confident I’m going to nail it, but you might have some things to add.

Lindsey Mango: Let’s hear it.

Lindsay: Lindsey definitely is the person who, first, is going to help plan the whole party because you can’t not help yourself sometimes. Which is amazing. Which for me, I love.

Chris: Oh yeah, it’s great sometimes.

Lindsey Mango: If I’m going to be there, it’s got to be fabulous. So I’m going to make sure I have a part in it.

Chris: You should have seen her when we decided to go to Iceland, Holy shit.

Lindsay: Okay, we’re going to come back to that because I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Chris: Okay.

Lindsay: I know you went to Iceland but I’m not sure where that’s going. But the other piece of that, which I appreciate so much because it’s very different than me is your attention to aesthetics. And just really, not that I don’t pay attention to those things, I just have a much more, it’s much simpler, much like no, no, no, this will be fine.

And you love to go all in and like really create a, like create an entire space. No matter what it is you’re doing, whether it’s a party or I’m sure your programs, your marketing, your branding. Like just watching you on Instagram is a whole experience. Like a good one, in the best way.

But you’re like that in your life too, which I can just appreciate so much. You put so much more thought, or it seems like you put so much more thought. It’s probably also you’re just very good at it and it’s a skill that you love to hone.

But anyway, so you’re going to help plan the party, you’re going to make sure everything looks perfect. And then you’re also going to be the whole party. Because you literally bring the energy, the party, like there is no, like everyone’s going to know you’re there, in the best possible way.

Chris: Totally. Nailed it, nailed it.

Lindsey Mango: Oh, thanks.

Lindsay: And then I would say Chris is the person who’s going to show up with like the best bottle of whiskey and or wine and know every detail about it and about where it was made, how it was made. Like he’s going to have all these stories that are going to be very enticing, and I love to hear them. And Lindsey is going to roll her eyes when this happens.

Chris: Do you have a camera in our home?

Lindsay: Oh, I’ve been there, I know how it goes. But also you kind of bring the party too, which I think is an interesting dynamic between the two of you because it’s in just a different way.

Chris: Yeah, I brought the whiskey. I’m kidding.

Lindsay: But also you bring like the jokes, and the sarcasm, but you have a very similar sense of humor and personality to me in some ways when it comes to that. And so I can really appreciate that about you. I love having conversations with you and that is like one of my favorite things to do when I hang out with you guys.

Chris: Well thanks, I think you nailed it for both of us.

Lindsey Mango: Yeah.

Chris: I think, you know, we are a product of our product, so to speak. So if we showed up and we’re miserable at every party, I would be very concerned about what’s happening there. So I like your assessment. I think it’s spot on.

Lindsey Mango: Yeah, I think the other thing is Chris would be giving out tastings to people and making cocktails in the corner.

Lindsay: Oh yeah, for sure, tastings, yes. Oh, excellent cocktails.

Lindsey Mango: Oh yeah, I like go to restaurant, the best restaurants and I’m like, “Not as good as my husband’s.” But I think that’s the perfect description. I think we both, I think Chris brings the party in like creating the experience around people. And it’s like I do that ahead of time. And then I’m not even going to pay attention, like I’m going to forget if you have a drink or not, because I’m also going to know Chris is like paying attention to that.

Lindsay: Yes.

Lindsey Mango: But I’m just going to bring the party with my energy.

Lindsay: So true. And also maybe if no one else is having a good time, it’s totally fine because you still are.

Lindsey Mango: This is so good though because it’s actually funny to think about this now versus who I was before coaching. Like I think this is who I really, I mean I know this is who I really am. But it’s just so crazy because it’s like, yeah, of course, this is who I am. But I also remember a time where it was like I relied on everybody else, like my significant others and other people to create an experience for me. And they never really did, because I’d never created it for myself.

So it’s just kind of funny to hear this because one of the biggest transformations I had from coaching was, it was almost like I was just waiting on someone else to do it. And then when someone was like, “Oh, you can create that experience yourself,” it was like I was like, “Wait a minute, I get to create that experience myself?”

And then it just completely changed the way I saw everything. And now it’s just such an active part of who I am that like everything is an experience and I’m in charge of creating it no matter where I go. So I just think it’s kind of fun to reflect on.

Lindsay: That’s so good. It’s such a good point and I can actually think back to, so I knew you when both of us very first hired our first life coach, right? I’ve known you pretty much since then. And just, you know, longer than Chris, it’s fine. Just point that out, I was here first. It’s fine, we’re not going to fight over her.

Chris: Yeah, well I married her, I win.

Lindsay: Oh, okay. But my experience of that, I didn’t really think about it until you just said that, but my experience of you and the way that shows up for you, like you’ve always been fun, you’ve always been the life of the party. But the way it shows up now, I think, is very different than it used to.

Which now you’re just so settled in like, this is who I am. Because sometimes you are one thing that surprised me about you when it started, sometimes you’re very silly, or you’re clumsy, or you like do things and make fun of yourself and do things that I was like, “What just happened? This is amazing.” You’ll just like, I don’t know, like breakout into song, I don’t know, whatever.

Lindsey Mango: Like wear an amazing dress but then spill ketchup on the front, I’m like, “Whatever, let’s keep going.”

Lindsay: Yes. And the only, like the slight change for me that I see is that that has always been there, but now you just embrace it so much more and just own it so much. Which, as your friend, is just so fun to see.

Chris: Even since we’ve been together, which is what, almost six years? Something like that. She has really leaned into that, and like in such a fun way. Because when we first started dating I looked at her Instagram feed and I thought she is either the best fraud, like liar, you know, she makes herself seem so charming and beautiful but there’s got to be like warts somewhere in there, right?

Lindsay: Yeah.

Chris: Or she’s actually authentic and she’s like the greatest woman who ever lived. I came out on it that it was the latter, I don’t know if she brainwashed me or not.

Lindsey Mango: I’m just that good, guys.

Chris: Yeah, sure, your coaching is that thorough.

Lindsey Mango: Tricky.

Chris: No, she is that authentic. And I think you’re right, I think she has embraced that side of her in the past two, three years.

Lindsay: Yeah.

Lindsey Mango: Thanks guys, I don’t know what to say.

Lindsay: You didn’t know why we were having you here, welcome to this experience.

Lindsey Mango: I’m like, isn’t this a birthday party for Lindsey?

Chris: I do you have a question? I mean, we could talk about ourselves all day long. But I’d like to help people somehow, can we?

Lindsay: Yeah, what do you want to say?

Chris: Not a hard right there, but I was just thinking, man, we’ve been going for a while talking about us, but I’d love to help.

Lindsey Mango: I think we probably are helping people.

Chris: We are? Well okay, never mind.

Lindsay: I think we are helping people a lot because people right now are like, “Oh my gosh, wait, I could do that too. Like this could be me. I could own this.” Oh, Chris is like, “Fine, whatever. It’s about thoughts again.”

Chris: No, I’ll get down with that. I just didn’t want to hog the mic.

Lindsey Mango: The value is who we are being in this conversation.

Lindsay: Yes. But okay, we will shift gears a little bit on the next question coming from what we just said, what we were just talking about is so when, with that being who you are, with your types of personalities, when you think about celebrating whether it’s, let’s just start with in your life because you’re both entrepreneurs so I’m sure you have business goals and celebrate those and all the things.

Just in your life, when you think about celebrating, celebrating milestones or birthdays, how do you celebrate those? Like what’s your favorite way to celebrate? We’ll start there.

Lindsey Mango: Want to go first?

Chris: Yeah, two things come to mind instantly. The first is every single coaching call I hold, we start with some variation of what are we celebrating today? What’s going great in your world? Because every –

Lindsay: Hold on, I’m going to stop you.

Lindsey Mango: Yeah.

Lindsay: This is in your life for you.

Chris: I know.

Lindsay: How do you celebrate yourself?

Chris: Well, I’m going right to that.

Lindsay: Okay. Okay, perfect.

Chris: We start there because I had to learn the hard way that as an entrepreneur, as an ambitious person, as somebody who’s driven and has my sights on the future most of the time, I don’t stop to do that often enough, unless somebody grabs a hold of me and says there are a lot of roses here. Did you even think to stop and smell a couple of them?

So that’s part of how I stay grounded in that practice, is by requiring my clients to do it. And most of the time, it’s pretty funny because they’re like, “What is this horseshit? I’ve got better things to do than sit here and talk about blah, blah, blah. This isn’t actually helping me.” And then, you know, six months later they’re like, “Oh my God, it changed my life to actually be grateful for what I do have.”

Lindsay: Yeah.

Chris: So that’s a big piece of it for me. And then when we’re celebrating something fun, I mean, one of our classic go-tos is a great bottle of champagne and a date night or going out somewhere and, you know, every sip we take of our cocktail or whatever we celebrate something different. We really work to put this into our daily practice. So Lindsey is better at it than I am in the morning, especially.

Lindsay: First thing.

Chris: First thing, yeah.

Lindsay: Very first thing.

Chris: No coffee in her yet at all and she will be like, “What are you excited about today?” And I’m like, “I’m excited about, I don’t know, I literally just woke up. Like Jesus Christ.”

Lindsay: Lindsey’s face was like, that sounds miserable. I’ve had that experience, I think she’s asked me that before. I can’t imagine I haven’t even woke up but ask me those questions.

Chris: There’s a preview out right now for a movie called Puss in Boots. And the character is, what’s his name? Antonio Banderas, right, is the cat. And he’s old, he’s on his last life and there’s this little kitten next to him who is like so exuberant and bursting with life and bouncing up and down. And he’s just got this old grizzly beard and he’s tired looking and he’s just like, “What do you want?” Sometimes in the morning I am the old cat and she is, you know, Dory here.

Lindsey Mango: Lindsay and I always talk about I’m just like a new soul. If you believe in past lives, I’m just like new, this is like one of my first lives and I’m just happy to be here. I’m not like tainted by lots of past lives yet.

Lindsay: Chris and I have been around a while, I think.

Chris: That’s right, we’ve seen some things, man.

Lindsey Mango: Okay, so celebrating life and like day to day, how do we do that?

Lindsay: Yeah.

Lindsey Mango: Yeah, I think it’s, I mean I think there’s always opportunities to grow in that. So I also think I can see that there’s places that I could do a much better job of that.

Lindsay: The one reason I’m asking you, I just want to say this before you answer, maybe it’ll be helpful. One reason I’m asking you is because I see it and how good you are at it. So there’s something that you do that is –

Lindsey Mango: Oh.

Lindsay: I mean, maybe I’m wrong. Maybe behind closed doors you’re not like that. But I think that you are excellent at it.

Lindsey Mango: So I think that we pause, we create experiences around it. So when I think about like birthdays, or milestones or things like that, it kind of goes back to what we were saying earlier, is like my thought, I think this about life in general. And I think this is just part of my brain, that life will just be life unless you choose to actively create an experience, just like a celebration will be nothing unless you choose to actively create the experience.

So I have that thought about just like everyday life. I have that thought about birthdays. I have that thought about literally anything. And I think for me, it goes back to kind of what Lindsay was saying, just like creating the aesthetic experience first. Like whether that is a bath, whether that’s a dinner and like plating it beautifully on the plate, or creating a nice cocktail.

It’s just, to me, it’s all about how I feel in the environment. And so I think the way that I create celebration and like constantly do that in my life is by making it an experience. And I do that by kind of tapping into like all of my senses. And usually I just have a vision in my head of what I want it to be like and what do I want it to look like? And then I just work to bring that to life.

So yeah, I don’t know. And I think we do a good job of celebrating each other and making sure, and also getting clear. Like sometimes we’re like something simple would be great for my birthday this year. Sometimes I plan a surprise party for Chris for just a random 37 or 34 year old birthday party just because.

But yeah, there’s definitely always a vision. And then there’s like just taking responsibility to creating the experience that I want to have around it.

Lindsay: Love that. I love it because, I’m glad we talked about how you think about planning for a party because I think that it is. So it’s like the exact same thing, right? But just instead of envisioning like what’s the decor? What’s the theme? What’s the, you know, whatever. It’s like, what’s the experience I want to have? And then how do I get to work creating it?

Lindsey Mango: Yes, totally.

Lindsay: So if we then shift, which I think this is a little bit where my mind is like, this is how I don’t understand how you live together. I think this would be the hard part for me. Not living with each other, right?

Chris: I just imagined, yeah.

Lindsay: But just living with another entrepreneur, I’m sure there are other coaches listening who are like, “What? I do this too.” But this is, I think, the part that would feel more difficult for me. So I’m curious how you navigate this. But how do you know, or maybe how do you help each other or how do you do it for yourself, like when you have a business goal that you are either hitting or maybe not hitting, how do you still find ways to celebrate? And is it like helpful or hurtful that you have each other also? Does that make sense?

Lindsey Mango: Yeah, I think the answer is both. I think it does help and I think it does hurt. I think when we’re working towards goals, it can be easy to focus on what the other person is doing and accomplishing that maybe we’re not and falling into that.

So, you know, if Chris has a bigger goal than I do, then I might diminish in my own mind my goal or the accomplishing of something simple or small or like getting a message from a client. And so I think that it’s just like on social media, you want to see if you’re triggered by someone celebrations as an opportunity to learn. But you don’t always put yourself in that. You’re like maybe I’m just going to unfollow this person while I’m doing this work on myself.

For us it’s kind of like we’re always in each other’s worlds and faces, so it’s like we really can’t hide from that. So I think there’s like that piece of it.

Lindsay: No unfollow, can’t unfollow.

Lindsey Mango: Yeah, can’t unfollow Chris. He tries. He tries to unfollow me, closes his door. But then I like knock, it might be locked. He locks one of them, I get in through the bathroom entrance.

Chris: It’s not a joke.

Lindsey Mango: It’s real. So I think there’s that piece of it. But then I think, on the flip side, because of what we do we work really hard to focus on like celebrating small things, celebrating big things, celebrating what we’re learning and shifting our focus to that and kind of using each other to, I guess, talk about that or bring it up.

Like I might talk to Chris at the end of the day and say like, what was the best part of your day? Or what is something that you’re celebrating today? So I think that can also be very powerful and very helpful because I think it’s so easy to kind of forget that part of this when you’re working on a goal. So I don’t know your thoughts on that.

Chris: Well, to be honest, I forgot the original question. I got to laughing, I got distracted thinking about you barging into my office and thinking about, laughing about that.

Lindsey Mango: She had asked –

Lindsay: This is my nightmare question, when clients ask this. What was the question again? I’m like, “Oh yeah I blacked out.”

Chris: It’s gone.

Lindsay: That left my mind 10 minutes ago.

Lindsey Mango: Yeah, like it was so good I just blacked out.

Chris: I guess, if I remember, like how do we navigate when one person is doing better than the other or vice versa?

Lindsey Mango: Just like what does celebrating in our businesses look like? And how is that beneficial versus how is that not beneficial?

Chris: Well, I mean look, we have to do our own work here. So right now Lindsey is on a heater and she is just, absolutely everything she touches turns to gold right now. And I have struggled to hit some of my most basic goals in the last quarter. And that’s not fun. That’s not, you know, exciting to wake up and look at in terms of like hard numbers and say, “Well, the numbers don’t lie.”

But at the same time we have to do our own work and go, “Okay, well, Lindsey’s success, or lack of sometimes, is irrelevant to what’s happening in my mind right now.” And it’s easy to drop into comparison with other people that you don’t know, or even like a friend that you have who’s in maybe a similar line of work and you’re comparing your results to theirs.

It’s easy to compare yourself to your spouse when you do the same thing. But there’s no difference to comparing it to the stranger or to the person who lives with you, because it’s still the same type of comparison and it’s still harmful to what actually empowers you and inspires you.

So I think we have to kind of slow down and catch our hand in the cookie jar, just like we would if it was any other person in the world that we were comparing ourselves to.

Lindsay: Do you think it’s easier to, let’s say one of was having a, you know, it’s not going well, right? Like whatever you were just saying, Chris. It’s not going well, this last quarter isn’t how I wanted it to go.

As the person on the outside, so Lindsey, is it easier to look at his, I’m going to say fails, right, like “fails,” I’m not hitting the goal I want to hit. Is it easier to look at that and say like, “Yeah, but look at all these other things that you have to celebrate. Look at all these things that are going well.” Like is it easier to do that outside of yourself than it is to do it for yourself?

Lindsey Mango: Oh totally, I think that’s why coaching is so valuable, is you have someone outside. Like you’re in the pool and you’re either like killing it and you’re looking really good at what you’re doing or you think you’re drowning, but someone’s on the outside like, “No, you’re actually okay. You’re figuring out, here’s what’s working and you’re getting closer.”

So totally, I think being on the outside looking in, you can always, just you’re not in the cookie jar, right, or you’re not in the jar. So I definitely think you can see it from a different lens.

But I will also have to say and I think this is probably both our work, but I won’t speak for Chris necessarily. I think about this a lot with our daughter, Eva, that we both have very high standards and expectations for ourselves. So I think it can also be easy to have the same thought process that I have about myself and the standards I hold and thinking like this isn’t good enough or whatever.

And I’m not thinking like Chris isn’t good enough. But I might think like, oh, like –

Chris: Whoa, what?

Lindsey Mango: No, I meant sometimes I might hold you to the same standard. So I might not be as impressed by something just because I might not be impressed with myself if I did it. And so I always do look at that because I’m like, oh God, I don’t want Eva to grow up and be like, “Look, I got a C on a paper” and be really excited and me be like, “Oh, good job.”

Lindsay: I don’t know what to say, yeah.

Lindsey Mango: I think there’s also always work to do there and just like, you know, focusing on the celebrations, focusing on working what’s working well. And I think, I don’t know, for me sometimes I might not be impressed because it’s hard for me to impress myself.

Chris: You buttoned that up.

Lindsay: I love it. So it’s funny when you started answering that, I didn’t even think about the competition piece, the like comparing. When I said this is the part I think would be hard, I think for me it would be the not necessarily, let’s say my husband was also a coach, not necessarily the comparing. Although I’m sure it would happen, that’s just not where my brain went first.

It would be the really getting in the despair of it with him if it wasn’t working, right? Which is funny because I don’t do that with clients, but just for some reason it feels different somehow.

Chris: I think it’s the opposite.

Lindsey Mango: Yeah, I actually do too. I forget the quote, someone once said something like, whoever’s the most certain in the room, wins. And I think we kind of take that to heart meaning like even if we’re both struggling or having a down month, it’s like I think we both kind of tap into like who has the most certainty here, who’s going to kind of carry the ship right now or carry the belief in this house?

And I think we do a good job of letting that ebb and flow and recognizing like when is it my turn to show up with the certainty here versus yours, so that we don’t just like dive in and commiserate. So I do think that we actually do a pretty good job of someone staying like, you know, not jumping –

Lindsay: So one person is afloat at all times?

Lindsey Mango: Yes.

Chris: Yes.

Lindsey Mango: We’ve even had moments where maybe we’re both in like freakout mode or having anxiety. And you can always tell, whoever has the most certainty like recognizes it and we’re like, all right. Not that we ignore it, but we’re like, okay, it’s like I’m going to show up and I’m going to create the certainty here.

Lindsay: I love that.

Lindsey Mango: Yeah.

Lindsay: Good job. Okay, so when you think about that and the way that you celebrate and celebrate your businesses, because I know that your clients are both, just the type of people they are, I assume, are probably a little different because they’re like you, I bet. More like you. How do you teach this? Like in what way do you teach celebration in each of your coaching?

Chris: I get to go first this time?

Lindsay: Yeah, you kind of said it a little bit earlier, but I want to dig a little more into it.

Chris: I build it in as a practice, a habit, until it’s just who they are that they just think at the beginning of the day, “Okay, what are we celebrating today?” I mean, I’m dead serious, my coach worked with me for at least a year straight because nothing was good enough, nothing was fast enough, nobody was efficient enough.

Like just there were so many things where like I could sign three clients in a week, have a $50,000 month or something really good back then and be like, “Yeah, but I didn’t do X, Y, or Z.” Right? Or, “Yeah, I know, I can do better.” And it was just like constant one upping in my own mind. And he does what he does best, which is slow me down and showed me what was actually happening. And I was discounting and really costing myself so much joy in my life. I still do it.

I still do it. 100% still do it. Yet, I’m better at it than I used to be. And the way that, like I can hear him saying it now because we’ve talked about it so many times, what you celebrate thrives, what you do not celebrate dies.

Lindsay: That’s good.

Chris: And so thank you, Dr. Keith Wagner, for that. And it’s so true. I mean it’s part of why, like I’ve always treated my relationship with Lindsey a little bit different because I was married before and that blew up catastrophically. And so I appreciate Lindsay in a different way than I would if that hadn’t happened. So it’s like I know what that experience feels like.

Lindsey Mango: He’s always celebrating me from that lens.

Chris: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, for real. And it’s something I’m intentional about.

Lindsay: That’s a good example of I learned this and I’m moving forward. I’m going to be intentional about it, even if it isn’t my natural like go-to state.

Lindsey Mango: Yeah, totally.

Chris: That’s right. And so it’s really just like any muscle, you have to get your reps in, you have to build that, and you have to maintain it. And that shows up with our businesses, you know, this morning I was slowing down in between all these different tasks that we had going on today. And I thought, wow, this will be, I think this will be my 10th year.

This will be my 10th year of not working in any kind of like corporate environment. And I’m like, “Holy shit, I haven’t had to commute in 10 years.” You know, like, it’s just kind of crazy. So I purposefully find places to have gratitude, to celebrate, to find a reason to be grateful to be alive today.

And that sounds so fucking cheesy. But without that, the ambitious guy in me just kind of skips along like a rocket, 90 miles an hour going, “Did this, did this, did this, what’s next?”

Lindsay: Yeah.

Lindsey Mango: But how do you teach your clients?

Chris: Oh yeah, that question.

Lindsay: You kind of did answer the question, and you can keep going. But I think one thing I heard you say is because you’ve had to work on it so hard, so much for you, it’s just natural. Like this is just what, like I know this is good work for my clients to do.

Chris: Here’s what I think to be true about this whole celebration thing. People will act in line with their values. If we were walking together, like if we were back in Napa and we were walking down the street and a little dog ran across us, none of us would just reach out and kick the dog, right? Like it’s so far from our values that we would never do that. Like we’re compassionate, kind people, we would never do that.

So I build a value in with these clients that hey, look, having gratitude, being a person who celebrates, becoming somebody who actually loves what you do have and doesn’t just focus on what you don’t have. Once that becomes a value, they start to act in line with it.

Lindsay: One thing that I will just say, and then, Lindsey, I want to hear your answer because I feel like it’s just going to be a little different, is that one reason I decided to do this, of course, is because so much of the work that we are putting out into the world is also the work that we need, right?

And I just was noticing thoughts about not necessarily my like clients or the coaching, but just about my business in general that was just kind of like this again, or like here we go again, or another launch. Or, you know, just thoughts that I was like, “Whoa, that’s so interesting.”

And I just realized that I haven’t done that work in a while, right? Like even though it’s always there a little bit, but I haven’t really focused on it. I haven’t said, “Wait, let me just stop and say like, what am I loving right now? How am I enjoying this? How am I, you know, loving my podcast? How am I loving all pieces of my business, even the parts that feel hard sometimes.”

Lindsey Mango: Yeah, well, I think just doing this is reminding me again, of how much I need to focus on this. So thank you for that. I think for me, one of the things I do when I get on calls or when I’m getting in my groups to coach is I ask them what they’re celebrating. And I always point out when they have nothing to say or when they like kind of half-ass it, right? They’re like, “Oh, this thing, now here’s what I want coaching on.”

Lindsay: Yes.

Lindsey Mango: So I always kind of am like, “Okay, let’s talk about what’s happening here. We don’t even need to coach on anything else because you’re obviously only focused on what’s not working, what your problems are, all of that.” So I think it’s kind of just like that, actually I think I might have learned that from Chris doing that at the beginning of all of his calls, is asking for their celebrations. I just kind of started that and I just do that with everything, with my mastermind, with my groups, all of it.

So there’s that piece of it and then I think in so many different ways I think I do this. I guess, I’m not always saying this is celebration. But I think it’s about just the angle that I’m always taking when it comes to coaching. Like focusing on what is working, and I think that is a form of celebrating.

And I think one thing I like to do a lot is what I call hindsight ahead of time. So meaning like if you were to look back on this moment in two years, what would you be thinking about it? And usually people are like, “Oh, I would think this, I would think this, I’d be proud of this.” Or I also take it from the other lens, like how would you have thought about this five years ago, 10 years ago?

And there’s always things to celebrate in that. So I think I’m always just trying to help my clients see things from just, you know, which I mean that’s what a coach does, from just different lenses. Because, I always use this example and I know your listeners are coaches, but I just think this applies to anything. But you could see two coaches on the internet who, maybe they both hit the exact same goal or get the exact same result, but one of them is very excited about it and one of them thinks it’s not good enough.

You can literally see how it translates. Like one of them is going to be like, I’m just going to use money for an example. They’re going to be like, “I just made my first 5k month.” And like they’re talking about on their timeline of how powerful it is and how coaching created it. And then someone might have that exact same result, but then they think it’s like terrible, not good enough.

And you can just see the like domino effect of that one simple thing and how it, like literally it’s like that person is going to create more opportunities, possibilities, because they’re showing people what’s possible. Whereas the other one, it isn’t just feeding their action, it’s feeding the results they’re creating, and the influence they’re having, and the impact they’re having on other people.

So I think about it a lot from that lens, that it’s just like how you’re feeling about your current reality and the results that you have are either like fueling forward more of that or like robbing you of what you could be creating and keeping you stuck in the same spot.

Lindsay: I love that concept of, what did you call it, hindsight?

Lindsey Mango: Hindsight ahead of time, yeah.

Lindsay: Hindsight ahead of time, yes. That’s so good. That’s such a good perspective. I feel like you’ve said that to me before, but I think I just heard it differently in this moment. That’s just such a good perspective for anyone, for anything, your life, your business.

Lindsey Mango: It helps me with literally everything and often I’ll write like stories, because I like to speak in content kind of. And I’ll be like what will I write about in a year when I’m speaking about this moment? I will literally write a post and it changes the way it feels entirely.

Or like I wrote a post the other day about Eva and how she, she doesn’t wake up in the middle of the night very often, but the other night she did. I was exhausted and I came upstairs. But I just had this moment where I thought like I’m going to miss waking up with her, and rocking her, and like feeling her warm head against my chest.

And that hindsight just offered me eat so much gratitude and joy in that moment. I just think celebration in that perspective has the power to do that for our entire lives. And so yeah, I use it a lot.

Lindsay: Love it. Okay, tell me, both of you, one thing that you’re celebrating right now in your life and one thing in your business.

Chris: I’ve been going first.

Lindsey Mango: Okay, celebrating in my life. I think the thing that I’m celebrating in my life is I recently had the awareness that while my life is totally amazing, I just realized that I’ve kind of been settling for just like good enough. Like it’s a new version of good enough. And not meaning it’s not good enough, but from the lens of like I’ve got so much more to give. And like a couple of weeks ago I just felt this decision where I’m like, I’m done, I’m ready to just completely up-level everything.

And since that moment, so much has changed. And I’m just celebrating that like overall transformation and shift and how it’s changed just so much about my everyday life. Even simple things like I used to get to the end of the day and just feel so drained and exhausted. And the night was just like this like, I need to sit on the couch and just do nothing. And now Chris is really excited about it because I have like an energizer bunny who’s got like endless energy because she’s so excited about life.

Lindsay: He loves that, doesn’t he?

Lindsey Mango: He loves that.

Chris: I’m thinking about what a good problem to have, right? Let’s not turn me into this ogre over here.

Lindsey Mango: He loves it. But yeah, I think I’m just celebrating like that shift. And I think also, as a business owner it can get really easy to hyper focus on just your business and think like, “When I solve all these problems, that’s going to be what fixes all of it,” or whatever.

And I just recently had that like no, it’s really just my life. And since having that up-level and just making that decision, it’s changed entirely my business, just directly. But it’s just changed the way I feel in my everyday life. So I’m celebrating that. Kind of generic and general.

And then in my business I am celebrating, I’m launching my life membership. And I feel like it has been something that’s been on my heart for a really long time. And it feels like, I’m just, I’m trusting myself deeper than ever and I’m making decisions based on what I really want and what I feel like my mission really is, instead of what I think I’m supposed to do and how it’s supposed to look.

And I’m just celebrating birthing that into the world and choosing to do it regardless of whether it’s quote, I think it is a smart business decision. But whether it like feels like it’s a smart business decision or anything like that. So I’m celebrating the alignment that I’m feeling in my business from the decisions that I’ve made, and that I feel so focused on just serving people and it just feels so good. So, yeah, I feel really good right now. I’ll have to come back and listen to this.

Lindsay: Yeah, seriously, just we’ll cut this out. Just this part and you just listen to it every day. But I think those two things are probably connected, right?

Lindsey Mango: Oh, 100%. Yeah, I think for so long I was kind of hyper focused on my business. And when I started to realize like, wait, I’m like, half-assing my, I’m working out but I’m going through the motions and I’m half-assing this and I’m a half-assing that. When I like up-leveled that, that immediately, because of what I do especially, that immediately created so much fire for my business because I’m like, this is why this work is so important. Now let’s go help people with it.

Lindsay: Yes. What about you, Chris?

Chris: You’re a tough act to follow sometimes, you know that?

Lindsay: It was a pretty good answer.

Chris: How am I supposed to follow up with that kind of passion and fervor? And the Italian hands are flying, you can’t see, listener. But you’re going to have to sit on your hands for a second. Let’s see, I am celebrating, the first thing that came to my mind when you said like personal life, our family.

Lindsay: I thought you were going to say my birthday.

Chris: Oh jeez, that too.

Lindsey Mango: Obviously, yes. Party of the century, guys.

Chris: Yeah, Gatsby who?

Lindsey Mango: It’s not Gatsby themed.

Chris: Oh, I thought it was. Oh, okay, my bad.

Lindsay: Listen, Lindsey tried to –

Lindsey Mango: Lindsey got carried away.

Lindsay: Lindsey got a little carried away with themes. And I was like, I don’t even know what that means, so I don’t know what I would do. So I feel like other people.

Chris: Well we’ll take the champagne towers back then.

Lindsay: No, that’s the theme, champagne towers.

Chris: That is. Oh, all right, perfect.

Lindsay: Yeah

Chris: Family came to mind because we just went to Iceland for a week, we would not have been able to do even a day trip away without our family. I mean, my entire family at some point, watched our daughter while we were gone because our babysitting plans fell through at the last minute. And we were going on this trip, one of my clients took us to celebrate their huge year and we were not going to miss that.

So that’s the first thing that came up because it’s Thanksgiving, Christmas, you know, other people’s birthdays and all this snowballed together with that big trip. And when we lived in California we were 2,000 miles away from our family. And so I don’t think a day goes by where I don’t stop to celebrate that, that we’re back where, you know, if we want to go to a birthday party, it’s 20 minutes, right? 20 minutes to get there. That’s huge and I never want to forget that.

Did that answer the question sufficiently on that side?

Lindsay: Yes.

Chris: Okay.

Lindsey Mango: I want to just add too, that we wouldn’t be talking about any of this if our daughter wasn’t happy, healthy and who she is. So I think we should also celebrate that.

Chris: Yeah, for sure.

Lindsay: Do you need to modify your celebration?

Lindsey Mango: No, no, no, I just thought for myself. I was like, oh gosh.

Lindsay: Okay.

Chris: There’s no bonus celebration.

Lindsey Mango: You inspired me.

Chris: Now work wise, I celebrate my clients every single day. They astound me, they do. Like one of the requisites I have to work with me, in my one on one coaching anyway, is that they want to do great work in the world, actually helping people with their client or service. They don’t want to just get rich or just build a business just to sell. And there’s nothing wrong with that, don’t get me wrong.

However, I have just learned that the people I want to coach, their heart is plugged directly into their work. And when we get into momentum, oh my god, they do the coolest things. One of my clients is literally changing the landscape in Louisiana for childcare. Raising hundreds of millions of dollars for how the state runs childcare. So cool, so fascinating.

One of my clients was offered a job at the White House, turned it down because their work is more important and more impactful than what they could do at the White House. It’s just wild. So they’re incredible people doing incredible work in the world. And it’s just fun to think the impact that we have on people that we’re never going to meet. Peeper, did I just say peeper? People that we’re never going to meet based on how we’ve changed our clients lives.

Lindsay: Well, that’s a great answer. I thought you said you weren’t going to be able to follow that up.

Lindsey Mango: I know.

Chris: Take that, Mango.

Lindsay: There’s no competition, we’re fine. Everything’s fine.

Chris: That’s right, we’re definitely not a competitive household, yeah. In fact, I’m the least competitive person that you’ll ever meet, ever.

Lindsay: Okay, even I don’t believe that. Sorry. Okay, so let’s wrap up with, but first, before you share how you work with your clients, what you’re doing in the world, you’ve already talks about it a little bit. Is there anything else that we have missed. Have we left anything out?

Lindsey Mango: I would like to ask you how you stay focused on this work. Because I think you’re really, I think you said like this is part of your work, but I think you always come back to it and remind me of it. So I’d love to hear what things you implement to stay focused on it.

Lindsay: So if any of my clients are listening, this will sound very familiar because I teach this, especially in my mastermind. But one thing that I do that I’ve kind of had to implement because, as you know, I used to have lots of anxiety and just lots of like, it came from a lot of thoughts that were this is never good enough. This is never good enough, right? Like always thinking about like what’s the next thing?

And so just one thing that I do is decide ahead of time like what are the little things, what are the little milestones I can celebrate on the way to a goal so that I don’t get just like, put my head down, go to the goal, don’t think of anything on the way.

And then, and some of them are, I make sure that some of them are just really small, right? Like things that it’s like this is happening no matter what. Even if it’s just, okay, I’m working on this new thing, I just took the first step today, right? I just sat down at my desk and like started creating content for it, or whatever the step is.

And I think of it as I’ve already said this on one of the other podcasts, but I think of it as like I used to hike a lot. And one thing that they would, like one of the kind of leaders that I would hike with sometimes, he would say like you always have to stop and look behind you, right? Like you always want to take a minute and look behind you because otherwise you’ll get to the top of a mountain or the top of wherever you’re going and the only thing you’ve looked at the whole way is your boots.

And that has just stuck with me, of course, in the moment during the hiking. And it’s true because you do have to look down, right? So that you don’t trip, so that you don’t whatever. And if you don’t stop and look around and look behind you, then it’s like what’s the point, right? You miss all the sights, you miss all the goodness.

And so for me sometimes it’s literally just a practice of like, I don’t do anything big, it’s just a practice of stopping and noticing it. This has happened, I did it. Like I’m proud of myself, right? Whatever it is that I need to tell myself that just is like this is what I want to hear right now. But just not even a big celebration.

Of course, that’s fun too. But just the little, like you did a good job, right? The thing that I just think I want to hear. And that has really changed a lot for me because it really helps you keep going and helps you notice I’m going in the right direction. I’m like moving towards the goal. And that’s all that I can do. Lindsey Mango: That’s so good. I love that.

Chris: Yeah.

Lindsay: And sometimes even just noticing I had a huge fail and here I am, it’s okay, I’m fine, right? Like, I’m okay, I survived. And just celebrating that, which can feel very counterintuitive. But that’s just, I think, you know, one thing I have noticed talking to you guys and also just talking to everyone this week is how different, it’s like there are different celebrations that different people need, right? And different ways that they can create for themselves to celebrate.

Like some people don’t need that reminder to stop and like look at what they’re doing, because they’re just naturally, that’s just what they do. And for me that’s not how it usually goes.

Chris: I was in a training with about 200 of the top realtors in the country. And the CEO that was teaching us that day said, “Raise your hand if you just wake up pissed off sometimes you don’t know why. And you just want to burn your house to the ground because nothing’s going fast enough. And you don’t know why you feel that way, but you do.” And I honestly think about 75% of the room raised their hand.

And we were all laughing because it was just like there does seem to be this strain of DNA that entrepreneurs have have of we’ve got to go, we got to move, we got to get it done, we got to do it right, we got to do it again. We got to do it better, we got to go faster. All of it, right? And it’s like a soundtrack that doesn’t turn off if we’re not careful.

So I really appreciate your analogy of not just looking at your boots, because that’s what it feels like when you’re just grinding away and not squeezing any joy out of your life.

Lindsay: Yeah, and I think it’s the same reason we’re good at what we do, right? And like, there’s a reason people with that mentality are drawn to be entrepreneurs. And also it can be a downfall, like Lindsey waking up at 6am with her brain just on, and also being the thing I love most about her.

Lindsey Mango: Yes.

Lindsay: Just to bring it back to that.

Chris: Yeah, Lindsey has two settings, go and sleep.

Lindsay: That is true. I do remember from sharing hotel rooms with you that I was always so shocked, it’s funny I feel like I have this skill now but I didn’t use to, that you would just be on, on, on, on, on, on, done, off, asleep.

Lindsey Mango: Oh yeah. Chris jokes if we’re out, like I’m on, life of the party. And then like something hits and I like turn into a pumpkin and it’s over. But I can turn my brain off, like I’m like out.

Lindsay: That’s like a light switch.

Lindsey Mango: Yeah, like I give everything I got and then by the end of the day my energy is just like done.

Lindsay: We would be laying in our beds and we’d be talking and then all of a sudden I’d be like, “Lindsey?” No, okay, she’s done.

Chris: Yep, nope, she’s done.

Lindsay: Lights are out.

Chris: I can’t tell you how many times we, it’s so funny, like most of this has been just personal anecdotal stuff.

Lindsay: That’s what it’s supposed to be, it’s perfect.

Chris: I will be talking to her, she’ll come in to the bedroom as we’re talking. She’ll pull the covers down to get into bed. And I will go in the bathroom to just grab my toothbrush or not even like go brush my teeth. And by the time I come back, she’s asleep.

Lindsay: Yes. Oh yeah, I can see that.

Lindsey Mango: And then he’ll start talking and I’ll go, “Oh,” I’ll go, “I just fell asleep.” And he’s like, “That was 22 seconds. How did that happen?”

Lindsay: That’s such a good skill to have though, I love it.

Lindsey Mango: I guess so.

Lindsay: Okay, so let’s just wrap it up with, you both answered that question, right? I don’t even remember the question now.

Lindsey Mango: No, you had said if we had anything else that we wanted to add, so I asked you a question.

Lindsay: Oh yes, that’s what it was. Okay, that’s why I felt confused. Chris: I thought we were going to take live questions from callers. Are we not doing that today?

Lindsay: Oh, well in just a second I’m going to bring the marriage therapist on and we’re going to just talk about some –

Chris: Just have a whole session.

Lindsay: He’s been listening in this whole time, don’t worry.

Chris: Your humor seems a little sharp witted sometimes.

Lindsay: Okay, let’s talk about how you work with your clients, where people can find you, just anything you want to share.

Lindsey Mango: Sure. I’ve made some changes, so I’ll tell you the best place to go. So I’m launching my Anything But Average life membership on January 1. The site for that isn’t live yet, so honestly just follow me on Instagram, @LindseyMango_. Like Lindsay said, I’d like to think it’s an experience, you’re going to get value and then all of the information is going to be there.

And then I also have a mastermind where I help coaches create the life and business that they really want. So that doesn’t open until March. So again, follow me on Instagram.

Lindsay: All on Instagram, we’ll link it in the show notes.

Lindsey Mango: Yeah, all of this stuff will be there.

Lindsay: And she does spell her name wrong in case you’re looking for her and you can’t find her, it is E-Y.

Lindsey Mango: Yes.

Lindsay: So pay attention to that.

Chris: Thank you, Lindsay, for that clarification. Was that everything you wanted to say?

Lindsey Mango: Yeah.

Chris: Yeah? Well, if you’re going to follow her, you’re going to see me because chances are you’re going to go to her feed and read like 20 posts, because they really are valuable. So you’ll see me in there like in the background, or like maybe my hand in the corner of one of them.

Anyway though, you can find me on Instagram too, @GoodmanCoaching, G-O-O-D-M-A-N. And what was the other question?

Lindsey Mango: How they work with you, like your website.

Chris: Yeah, so there’s a link in the bio there where you can click on it and just fill out an application to work with me one-on-one or get into my mastermind. And we also have an entry level one-on-one program where you can work with a coach that I’ve trained. It’s much more affordable than my one-on-one coaching.

My one-on-one coaching is for entrepreneurs, CEOs exclusively. The entry level program is for people who don’t own businesses but want great coaching, or maybe have exited a business and they don’t really need entrepreneurial help anymore.

But what we attempted to do there was break it out into some people need a community, so we got a mastermind. Some people just need to get started, so we have the entry level program. Some people need higher level deep experience, deep coaching, that’s what I offer one-on-one. Whichever you’re looking for, it’s all through the same link.

Lindsay: It’s a one stop shop.

Chris: That’s it. Yeah, that’s it. I like to have options myself when I get into coaching. One of my favorite sayings – What? You’re laughing.

Lindsey Mango: I was going to say, what’s your website?

Chris: Oh, I didn’t say that? It’s goodmancoachinginc.com. And I’m sure Lindsay will put a link in the show notes there for you. Thank you, Lindsey for reminding me what I needed to tell Lindsay.

Lindsay: I definitely will.

Chris: The other part of the question. That’s it? I got all distracted. Okay. No, no, no, look, even if I’m not a fit for you, I know so many damn coaches around the world. I love connecting people to the right person. So if you have questions, if you want some help, if you want to figure out if I’m the right coach for you, fill out the application and I will help guide you towards somebody like these two lovely ladies that I’m talking with here. I’m here to help. That’s it.

Lindsay: Love it. Well, thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you for taking this time to do this with me. It was a crazy idea I had and I think it has turned out to be so fun. So I’m so glad that you are on for my birthday week.

Lindsey Mango: Thanks for having us.

Chris: Thanks for having us. It was a lot of fun.

Lindsey Mango: Which, happy birthday.

Chris: Happy birthday.

Lindsay: Thanks. It feels weird saying it now.

Chris: Do you want to sing her that birthday song?

Lindsay: Yeah, go ahead.

Chris: Okay, ready? You know this one?

Lindsey Mango: No.

Chris: This is your birthday song, it isn’t very long. Happy birthday.

Lindsey Mango: Don’t do that at her party, okay?

Lindsay: You can do that at my party. Don’t listen to her.

Chris: I’m bringing our karaoke machine.

Lindsay: She doesn’t make the rules. I make the rules, you can do that.

Chris: I’m bringing a mariachi band to sing that.

Lindsey Mango: Thank you so much, Lindsey.

Chris: It was a lot of fun.

Lindsey Mango: It’s been so much fun. I’m just grateful. And I’m grateful to be your friend and get to celebrate you.

Lindsay: I’m grateful to have you both as friends.

Chris: That’s right. That’s right. We’re both friends. We’re all friends.

Lindsay: All of us, and Nate, who couldn’t be here today.

Chris: Poor Nate, I hope he feels better.

Lindsay: All right, bye.

Lindsey Mango: Bye.

Chris: Bye.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Mastering Coaching Skills. If you want to learn more about my work, come visit me at lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com. That’s Lindsay with an A, D-O-T-Z-L-A-F.com. see you next week.

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Hi I’m Lindsay!

I am a master certified coach, with certifications through the Institute for Equity-Centered Coaching and The Life Coach School.

I turn your good coaching into a confidently great coaching experience and let your brilliance shine.

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