Elizabeth Sherman is a coach who helps women in midlife lose weight without dieting. She teaches her clients to listen to their body, understand their relationship with food, and change the way they think about exercise so they can lose weight without worrying about counting calories. Elizabeth also takes an approach that combines mindset coaching with real actionable steps for her clients to take, which is something I absolutely love about her.
Tune in this week as I discuss with Elizabeth the impact that working on her coaching skills has had in her business. She’s sharing every aspect of this journey over the past 15 years, and why she is going in for a second round of Coaching Masters, despite already seeing the kind of results she could only dream of just a couple of years ago.
Hey, this is Lindsay Dotzlaf and you are listening to Mastering Coaching Skills, episode 30.
To really compete in the coaching industry, you have to be great at coaching. That’s why every week, I will be answering your questions, sharing my stories, and offering tips and advice so you can be the best at what you do. Let’s get to work.
Hello, hello. Welcome to this amazing interview, conversation, whatever you want to call it, podcast, that I am doing with a client of mine, Elizabeth Sherman. We have, of course, as always, so much fun and she has such amazingness to share with all of you. I cannot even wait for you to learn everything that she tells you.
She talks about how really focusing on her coaching skills has helped her build the business she has and kind of her journey as a coach over the last 15 years and her experience being in coaching masters with me and why she signed up to do it a second time. Let’s not wait any longer. Here is Elizabeth.
Lindsay: Hello, hello. How are you today.
Elizabeth: I am fantastic. Thanks for having me on the show. This is going to be so fun and exciting.
Lindsay: Oh my gosh, I’m so excited you’re here. First thing, introduce yourself. Tell everyone who you are and what you do.
Elizabeth: Hey, everyone. I am Elizabeth Sherman. I am a life and weight loss coach and what I do is I help women who are in midlife balance their hormones and lose weight without dieting through learning how to listen to their bodies. So, things like understanding how food makes you feel, using exercise for self-care and stress management versus calorie management, and getting enough sleep for you, whatever that is. And all of this, just so that you feel good. And so, that’s who I work with.
Lindsay: I love that. What a fun niche. I know I’ve told you this before, but I really do love that niche, probably because I feel like I’m approaching midlife, I question that, like, what is midlife? So, really start there. How do you define it? Is there an exact definition? Or what are the characteristics of most of the women that work with you?
Elizabeth: Yeah, that’s actually a really good question because I think that it really ranges. If people ask me, I say that I work with women between the ages of 45 and 60. But that isn’t necessarily true. The reason that I focus on this age range is because, as we get older, what’s funny is that as younger women, we use the calories in versus calories out approach to manage our weight.
And so, what happens is, when we’re in our 20s and 30s, we’ll go out and overindulge on the weekends, you know, have too much beer, drink cocktails, have cookies and just go at it. And then, during the week, just get a little bit more activity and run extra hard or reduce our calories so that we can manage our weight.
And what happens is, as we get older, our hormones change because we’re moving out of child-bearing years into menopause. And so, what happens then is our bodies become more sensitive to insulin, meaning that we can no longer have those carb bombs on the weekends, that they’re going to affect our hormonal response. And then, we become more sensitive to stress.
And so, ultimately, exercise is a stressor. So, we can’t go out and overexercise anymore to manage those calories. And what we need to do instead – and this was a huge brain explosion moment for me, when someone said to me, “You can no longer look at exercise as a form of calories out. You have to look at it as a form of stress management.”
And I was like, “Wait a minute, how is that even possible? How can I not look at exercise as calories out?” And it’s true. We can no longer out-exercise a bad diet. And so, we need to look at exercise as a form of self-care. So, a form of managing our anxiety, a form of managing our stress.
I notice that when I don’t exercise, that I do have higher levels of anxiety, that I don’t sleep as well. And so, really looking at exercise from that point of view versus that it’s just something that we do to burn calories. Because the women that I serve, you know, we grew up in a time when magazines were all about calories in versus calories out and this is how you need to manage your weight.
And we really have a poor relationship with exercise and with our bodies. So, what we need to do is I help them really kind of shift and have a better relationship with their body and have a better relationship with exercise and have a better relationship with food as well.
And so, to get back to your question about what is midlife, you know, depending on when your body naturally goes into the perimenopause years, that could be 45 – I didn’t start experiencing that until my late 40s. But there are other women who have hysterectomies at younger ages. So, that’s really kind of the demographic that I serve.
Lindsay: I have so many questions. I’m just going to erase all the questions I had and selfishly ask you everything I want to know about this. I’m just kidding. But it’s so interesting that you describe it that way because I’m 40, I turn 40 this year. And I can tell that just, like, my body’s changing a little bit.
And over the last year, I have kind of stopped exercising, partially because I was sick for a while, which we couldn’t figure out what it was and it ended up being my gallbladder. So, I got that out and it’s much better now. But I really thought that, like, I need to do lots of exercising to be fit, of course, but also to just keep my body the way I like it and that kind of thing.
And since I have not been working out, I have actually lost quite a bit of weight. I mean, five to 10 pounds. But for me, I’ve been kind of the same weight for a very long time. And my body just feels better, which is fascinating because I really thought – and you know a lot about me. I love to just be really good at things, so I’m not like a light exerciser. If I exercise, I like to go all in and train for the half marathon or do something that’s maybe possibly overexercising sometimes. And yeah, it’s just fascinating, all the things you just said. I feel like I can really relate to a lot of that.
Elizabeth: Yeah, exercise is a really terrible weight-loss method. And so, what you’re eating is actually going to influence how you feel so much more than exercising. And when we talk about exercise, it falls under the umbrella of physical activity.
So, walking is really more a physical activity than it is quote unquote exercise. Running and weight lifting would be more considered exercising. But it is interesting. These are the different things that affect everyone so differently and that’s kind of the approach that I work with each of my clients.
Some people swear that they won’t lose weight unless they exercise and it’s true, but other people don’t need it as much. All of our bodies are so different.
Lindsay: Yeah, I think I’m at the point now where I want to start adding things back in, but just in a very different way than how I used to think about it and used to do it, because my body is like, “Let’s just be a little gentler than we were before.”
Elizabeth: Exactly, yeah.
Lindsay: And I do love a long walk, so it’s not like I just do nothing. I’ve taken a break from the Peloton.
Elizabeth: They’re not in Mexico yet.
Lindsay: They’re pretty great. I will say, not that this is going to be a promo for Peloton, but the classes, they remind me so much of coaching. So many of the trainers on there, they talk a lot about mindset and it kind of feels like working out with a coach a little bit. So, it’s fun. You’d probably like it.
Okay, so let’s talk about how do you know me? How did you find me? You’re a little different than a lot of the guests I’ve had in the past, which are either colleagues of mine, a couple of them, or clients that I’ve worked with for quite a while. And that’s not you necessarily, so tell the audience how you found me. I actually don’t even know specifically how you found me.
Elizabeth: I’m actually thinking about that myself. I was thinking about it before we hopped on. And I don’t even really know how I found you. We’re certified through the same organization. And I think that when I was finished with my certification, which was about a year ago, I was looking for the next thing. And I’m part of Stacey Boehman’s 2K for 2K. I may have seen you coach in there.
Lindsay: I’m a guest coach, for anybody that doesn’t know. I occasionally guest coach in another program.
Elizabeth: Yeah, and I don’t know, maybe I’ve just heard you through rumblings in the Slack channel of our certification group. But I think when I saw you coach I was like, “I need her.” Like, I didn’t even really look at anyone else. I was like, that is what I’m doing. I don’t know what it was that appealed to me about it, but I was like, “I need to either get coached from her or I need to be in her mastermind.”
Lindsay: That’s so fun. That’s exactly what you want every client to say about you, like, “I don’t know what it was, I just had to work with her. Didn’t even look at anyone else.”
Elizabeth: Yeah, and I remember I messaged you on Slack and I was like, “Hey, this is what’s going on and I want to coach with you.” And you were like, “Well, I don’t have any slots open right now, but at this point, I’m going to be opening my mastermind.” And I was like, that’s perfect timing.
Lindsay: I love it. So, you have been in Coaching Masters since December. And unfortunately that’s about to end. And you joined the next round, which I think is so fun. And how did you make that decision? What was it about doing one round and then deciding to be in another? What kind of put you over the top on that?
Elizabeth: The women that you have attracted in this round of Coaching Masters are just freaking amazeballs. Like, seriously, the certification that I went through, I had the women that were in my certification and then my, six months after, we did a separate cohort.
And they’re all great. But the connection that I feel with the women in Coaching Masters is just above and beyond. I didn’t have a feel of belonging in the other two groups. And in Coaching Masters, I just feel like, even though we are all so different and we have different niches and all of that great stuff, I love each of them so from my heart. And I feel like these women are like my ride or die…
Lindsay: Oh, I love that. That’s so fun. That is maybe the ultimate compliment for me because I think, to me, the community is so important, that aspect of the community within the group. And it’s been very important for me in my journey and building my business, I don’t know what I would do without the colleagues and best friends that I’ve created who are also coaches. So, I just love hearing that.
Elizabeth: Yeah, you did a podcast just a couple weeks ago about how you met all of those women in Mexico and how you have create this community of coaches. And I feel like that with these women and I wish that we would be able to meet in person so that I can give them all hugs and kiss them…
Lindsay: In Mexico?
Elizabeth: Yes please.
Lindsay: Because that’s where you live.
Elizabeth: That’s where I live.
Lindsay: So fun, okay, so you’ve been in Coaching Masters. I just found out right before we started, because I was asking you questions, and you were telling me – so, I knew that you recently crossed the $100,000 line, that you made $100,000 in your business in a year. I had no idea what you had made before. I just assumed it was close to that because you’re just so kind of chill about it. Just tell the whole thing all over again because it really blew my mind and I want everyone to hear that this is possible.
Elizabeth: Well, okay, so let me put some framework around this. So, I got into this line of work 15 years ago. So, I was working in high-tech. I was a business analyst for a software company that made software for car manufacturers. And I kind of had this midlife crisis. My husband and I don’t have kids. And I wanted to leave the world in a better place, and I was like, how am I doing that making software for a car manufacturer? I don’t get it.
So, I went to see a therapist. And I probably went to see her more as a life coach than for therapy. And she was like, “I think that you would make a really great wellness coach.”
So, to back up even further, in 2001, my mom passed away from breast cancer and I saw that if I didn’t make some changes in my own health, that that was going to be my future. And so, in the process, I started cleaning up my own diet, started cleaning up my own relationship with my body, started cleaning up my own relationship with just health in general.
So, she’s like, you know, you’re a great testament for what that’s about. I think that you should help other people. And I was like, great, let me do it…
Lindsay: Was she also a coach? I’m just curious.
Elizabeth: I don’t think so. I mean, think back to 2005…
Lindsay: Not a lot of coaches.
Elizabeth: There weren’t. So, I got my personal training certificate. I got my nutrition certificate. And then I also got my wellness coach certificate. And I went out into the world and I was like, “Okay, I can help people.” But I had no idea how to do that. I didn’t know how to market myself. I didn’t know any of it.
And so yeah, back in 2005, people knew what personal trainers were. People knew what nutritionists were. But they didn’t know what a coach was and I didn’t know how to market myself. So, for years, I was quote unquote just a personal trainer. And eventually then, I moved into health coaching.
But even so, I was such an underearner. I was making something like maybe $12,000 a year. Because I didn’t really want to market myself. I was like, “Yeah, if people want to personal train, they’ll come to me. I’m not going to try and sell them because if they don’t want to train with me then they don’t want to train with me.”
And so, when we moved from Austin, Texas, to Mexico, that’s when I went 100% online. And some of my clients came with me. But I was really doing some health coaching stuff there and I was really struggling.
So, in 2019, I made $7000 and that’s when I decided to go into the life coaching certification program. And I think my husband was going to kill me because I did it without telling him I was going to do it. My business was already indebted to our personal finances of $30,000 and here I was doing another $20,000 on top of that. And he had all of the concerns, like what are you doing spending all this money and you’re not making any money?
And so, anyway, yeah, in March of 2020 is when I graduated from that certification and I made $74 that month. And this year, I’ve now made $107,000 and some change.
Lindsay: In the last 12 months, or in 2021?
Elizabeth: In the last 12 months.
Lindsay: That is just so fun. How do you think you created that? What was the difference? What did you do differently? Or what did you believe differently?
Elizabeth: Yeah, so I went into the life coaching certification because I was working with clients and I was finding that they would get a really good rhythm, consistency, of eating and exercise. And then something in their life would happen that would pull the rug right from out under them.
And that thing was always stress-related. It was their relationship or it was their job or it was that they had to take care of family or something like that. And all of the advice that we give folks about stress management is really, “Get a manicure. Get a massage. Do something nice and pretty for yourself.”
And those things are lovely, don’t get me wrong, but they don’t really solve the problem. And so, when I learned about the think-feel-act cycle and the model, I was like, “Oh my god, this is amazing.” We can change the way that we think about our stress. We know that two people can experience the same exact problem and have very different stress responses from it. And so, what if we could change the way that we think about that problem?
And so, that was when I joined the life coaching certification. And so, coming out of that, I was just like, I can freaking solve any problem. Before that, if someone came to me and they’re like, “Yeah, I just ate all this food. I was having problems with my job,” or whatever, I didn’t feel like it was within my wheelhouse or I didn’t feel like it was within my scope of practice to address that with them.
And so, coming out of certification, it was like, I feel effing confident. I can solve any problem as it pertains to women being able to take care of themselves.
Lindsay: Yes, that is so powerful. So, you came out of certification and what made you decide at that point that you wanted to continue working on your coaching skills? Because that’s what I teach in Coaching Masters, of course. We cover lots of ground in there, but I see just a lot of people who come out of certification who are like, “Okay…” like a checkbox, like, “Check that off, never have to think about that again.”
And my thought is always like, “No, no, this is just the beginning. You have the basis now, let’s get started, right?” How did you think about that? What was your thought process?
Elizabeth: Yeah, that’s actually a really good question because I have lots of certifications. And certification really is your bare minimum. You think once you get the certification you’re like, “I’m qualified now. I can do all the things.” But no, that’s your lowest bar of entry. Now, you have so much more to learn in order to go out and help people even more.
And so, I already knew that. I already knew that once I passed certification, that that was just my bare minimum and now I had to do more. And I think that what was really calling me was that when I was doing my personal training work and when I was doing my health coaching work, that I was helping people in what’s called the action line. I was telling people what to do.
And we all know that the reason that we do or don’t do anything is because of how we feel. And so, when I went through the life coaching certification, they were all about no, you do not coach people on the action line. And I was like, wait a minute, that’s all I’ve been doing.
I didn’t know how to integrate these two pieces. And I felt like I was doing it wrong when I was going through certification because I was specifically taught that this is how you coach people. And it didn’t feel right to me.
And so, I was constantly in my head going, “I’m doing this wrong because I’m not doing it the way that my organization says that I’m supposed to be doing it.
And so, what I really needed help with at the time was integrating those pieces together so that I could, A, feel competent in my coaching sessions, but B, you know, give my clients what they need. Because I mean, granted, we all know what we should be doing and not doing when it comes to our health. We know that we should be eating more vegetables. We know that we should be limiting processed foods and limiting sugar and all of that great stuff. We know we should be exercising. We know we should be getting enough sleep.
But if a client came to me and said, “Elizabeth, I’m not losing weight. We’ve been working together for six months…” and I were to process her in terms of, “Well, you just need to keep doing what you’re doing, or how does that make you feel, or what are the thoughts that are making you feel…” it’s not useful to the client.
She needs actionable steps. And so, I didn’t want to abandon the information that I already had in terms of this is how you do it. But then I felt like I also needed the life coaching piece because the reason that we don’t eat vegetables is because of our thoughts or beliefs. And so, being able to question that in a loving way, in a non-judging way is also really necessary, so how do you get that all together? And so, I feel like I have some really good tools and I just want to take that even further going into the next six months.
Lindsay: Okay, I love that you said that. You actually just pointed something out to me that I don’t know that I have been able to put words to before. But I think that for me, the most interesting part of coaching and being a coach – and I’m fascinated always with the human brain and how it works and how our clients think. But I think the most interesting piece is how the thoughts and feelings interact with the actions.
They’re both equally as important. And we talk about this all the time, where it’s like you can’t just sit in your bedroom and believe your way to success or weight loss or whatever without taking action. And so, any time as coaches we’re thinking, “Oh, I can’t even go there. I can’t even talk about the action,” I say no way, the action is equally as important. It’s just that a lot of coaches tend to leave out one or the other.
So, I think that that is an excellent point, that that is a lot of what we do in Coaching Masters, is talk about how do they play together. Let’s make them all play well together so that your clients get results.
Elizabeth: Yeah, and so I’ve had better success sin explaining that to prospects. For years, when I started out in personal training and nutrition, before I was really into and owned my coach-ness, I told people that I was a habit-based coach. And I still really like that approach.
And I think from a health standpoint, it actually fits really well. And people tend to like it and they like the approach. And so, what I tell them is that every week, we will set up habits and skills that we will practice between the week. And when we follow up, we’ll check in to see, how did you do on those habits?
So, let’s say the habit is I’m going to eat three servings of vegetables each day. And so, on the follow up, I’ll say, “How did you do?” And you’ll say, “I did great.” Or you’ll say, “I did great for three days and then the rest of the week I really didn’t.”
And so, then we get to figure out, what’s the problem? Why did that break down? Was it because you didn’t have processes in place? Do we need to set those up? Or were you just being a petulant child and just saying, “I just didn’t want to eat the vegetables.” And then we get to coach around that, right? And so, I think it’s a really beautiful mix of the two things. Like, action and mindset work.
Lindsay: I think it varies by niche a little bit because some niches are a little more – especially if you’re a general life coach and you’re like, “Listen. Just come to me every week, tell me what’s going on and we’re going to really look at your thoughts.” That is a little different. But for someone like you who has a very specific niche, of course they’re going to be like, “Here are the actions, here are the strategies. This is exactly what I teach my clients.”
And I always think of it as it’s kind of just like the starting off point or the – there has to be a better word for it. It’s not coming to me now. But it’s like, here’s where we start. Let’s just see what happens. Because that’s going to give us more information, and then we can go from there and say, “Okay, well what were you thinking? How were you feeling that day? What else was going on in your life.” But without that starting point, it’s a lot harder to kind of measure what’s happening.
Elizabeth: Absolutely. It’s so funny. I have one client who has lost 30 pounds in like six months. She’s just done phenomenally. And just recently, we got on a call and she’s like, “I don’t know what happened. Everything just became a shit show.”
And now she is the director of I think it’s public defenders for the federal court system. So, she deals with folks who are being put on death row. And she’s got some really heavy stuff. And I was like, “Okay, what happened in this whole process? What made you go off track?
And she’s like, “I don’t know. I just did…” And so, we started backtracking and she had told me earlier about that for work, they had a trauma expert come in. And I was like, “Wait a minute. What was the day of the trauma expert?” And she was like, “Thursday.”
And I’m like, “Okay, what day did you go off track?” She’s like, “Thursday.” I’m like, “Do you think that has any connection?” And she’s like, “Oh my god, how did I not see that?” And so, yeah, this trauma workshop that she had just brought up so much sadness and anxiety. And it’s something that we’ve been working on within our coaching together, that having clients who do terrible things who are then being put to death through our justice system.
And she just has all of this sadness. And for years, she figured out that she’s just been stuffing it down with food. And so, yeah, it’s just been fascinating to watch her and to be able to put these pieces together. Because when we had started, if you had asked her, do you think that you have trauma? Or do you have sadness and are you an emotional eater? She would have been like, “No way.” But through this process, she has just grown and bloomed and it’s just beautiful to watch.
Lindsay: That is incredible. I want you to tell me all the stories. Let’s just do that right now, just 20 more. Because that is so powerful, right? That is the power of coaching. That is just such a beautiful example of why this work is so important and why it’s important to combine both.
You could have coached her on the action line all day, told her what to eat, told her what to do, and that maybe would have just never gone away if you hadn’t found that.
Elizabeth: Yeah, she would probably still be spinning if we hadn’t figured it out. And once we put two and two together, she was like, “Oh, I need to honor these emotions. Got it. Okay.”
Lindsay: Yes, oh my goodness. So, so powerful. So what would you say is the most important work, or some of the more important things that you have done as far as a coach. Like, what have you found to be maybe the most useful for you or the most important for you in coaching your clients? I’m not really sure what I’m asking, but what would you tell people listening if they’re like, “Okay, but where do I start? What do I focus on? When I’m thinking about my coaching skills and being an amazing coach?” What would you tell them?
Elizabeth: Okay, so here is one of the things that I wrote down in terms of what I have learned in Coaching Masters.
Lindsay: I love it.
Elizabeth: And it’s going to sound so effing obvious.
Lindsay: Perfect. It always is.
Elizabeth: But it’s being a fucking human being. And I’m sorry for swearing. I’m not really a big swearer. But like seriously, every time that I’m in my head about how do I handle this, it’s about just asking the obvious question.
And before, I was totally in my head about, “Well, how am I supposed to ask this?” And I’m not dogging on my certification, but I felt like I wasn’t allowed to be who I was and bring my own stories into my coaching. And I really feel like my clients benefit a lot from that, my own experience, what my own journey was.
And not that in my coaching sessions it’s about me showcasing what I’ve done and being in the spotlight, but being kind of like a beacon for my clients and saying, “Look, I went through this too.” And so, anyway, my point being that the thing that I think is most important is just recognizing what the real question is in your brain as you’re having it and then just ask that.
Lindsay: So good. I love that because I think that I just find so many especially newer coaches or coaches that just haven’t worked with a lot of clients, or that maybe have learned one very specific method of coaching and they’re just in their head about, “Okay, I have to be amazing at this one thing,” they tend to sometimes be a little robotic, coach robotically and think that they have to also be that way in their life, like they should never have drama or never have any human thoughts. And that is just not true at all. It’s just not even possible.
I always say, listen, our job here is not to turn people into robots. That is not what we’re doing. Helping them experience all the things and all of the emotions.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I remember when I learned the think-feel-act and started coaching myself that I was like, “Oh, I’m never going to have a negative emotion again. This is going to be amazing. I can solve all of my problems.”
Lindsay: Yeah. And then you start thinking that also the people around you shouldn’t have negative emotions; your husband, yes. I remember that. Yep, now I just own it. My brain is also crazy on occasion. Sometimes it’s not, but sometimes it is, and that’s okay.
Elizabeth: Well, and it’s interesting. So, one of the other women from our Coaching Masters group, Michelle Runnels, she’s actually going to be on my podcast this next week, to be released on May 18th. And what we were talking about in that interview is that the more you feel comfortable with negative emotion in yourself, the more you can tolerate it in other people and therefore they can go around and be all grumpy and you’re like, “Yep, enjoy that.”
Lindsay: Yeah, I’m also grumpy. I see you’re grumpy. Yeah, it does make such a huge difference. I always describe coaching as not trying to not experience negative emotion, but really just trusting my emotions. Like, this is just here and it’s okay.
And sometimes, do I want to get out of it? Do I want to change the thoughts? That’s an option. I can do it. But sometimes it’s like, “No, I want to be grumpy about this thing.” Or, I want to – of course I want to experience negative emotion about this.
Elizabeth: Yeah, and what just came up for me right now was thinking about body love and body acceptance, that we think that when we get to a place of loving our bodies or accepting our bodies, that it’s going to be like us running around in a field of daisies like, “I love my body. My body is amazing. Don’t you think so too?”
But you’re still going to have days where you’re like, “Gosh I just saw that picture and I’m really disappointed that I’m not taking better care of myself,” or, “Oh, I just saw an angle of myself and, oh…” or being mad at yourself or mad at your body. Just like you would with any other relationship. And so, yeah, it’s not just blissfulness all the time.
Lindsay: I hope we didn’t just ruin everyone’s – sorry guys, it’s not bliss all the time. It just isn’t going to be. And it’s not supposed to be. You wouldn’t even know you were experiencing bliss if you didn’t have anything else to compare it to.
Elizabeth: Yeah, we need the contrast.
Lindsay: Yes, well is there anything else you want to share before we wrap it up, just about anything?
Elizabeth: Coaching Masters is pretty amazing.
Lindsay: Oh well, thank you. And I’m so grateful that you said yes and that you’re here. And this has been so fun.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I’m really excited to see what happens in the next cohort. If it’s anything like this group of ladies, I am just going to be so excited to see what happens in the next six months. And I’m definitely going to be needing some help because in August, I am launching my very first group coaching program. And so, I know that there is going to be a lot of drama. In fact, I’ve already started having anxiety in the middle of the night. So, I’m definitely going to be needing the support for that, for sure.
Lindsay: Okay, we can talk about that. Let’s just not plan now for the drama that you’re going to have later.
Elizabeth: Okay, that’s a good point.
Lindsay: Yeah, just cancel it.
Elizabeth: I know. At the beginning of COVID, I gave myself a rule that was like, you are not allowed to worry about anything that hasn’t happened yet. And you can worry about it when and if it does and then also trust yourself that when that happens, you will be able to handle it.
You know what? I really think that that’s the piece that helped me grow my business so quickly. When I think back to the version of myself who wasn’t making money, who was under-earning, I had a fear of success. And I think that in there, there was a fear of failure too, that there was the fear of, “Well what if I succeed and then fail?”
Lindsay: Of course, they always go together, right?
Elizabeth: Yeah, and so that was kind of what happened for me, is I was positioned in my coaching business at the beginning of COVID and there were so many people who were like, “Okay, well if we’re sheltering in place, I guess this is a good time to focus on myself.”
And so, I just kept saying yes to the new clients saying, “You know what? If I get too many, I will figure it out at that point and I can always drop off or whatever. But I will figure it out later.” It became my mantra for growing my business.
Lindsay: Yeah, you already live in Mexico. You know, sometimes my clients will say, “Listen, if it all goes downhill, I’ll just shut it all down and move to Mexico.” That’s just the joke. You already live there, so you can just shut it down and they’ll never know where you are.
Lindsay: Okay, so we’ll close out with this last question, because I love what you said and I have done this in the past where I have just made a decision, like hey, Lindsay, I talk to myself, you are just not allowed to worry about this thing. Remove the worry. How does that play out in real time for you? Because you can tell yourself that, but our brains are sneaky and they love to sneak in, like, you might not notice it until you’re already in the worry. And then what do you do? How do you handle it in the moment or bring it back to, like, “Oh wait, we’re actually not going to worry about this, remember?”
Elizabeth: Yeah, well two things. One is I do tell myself, “Wait a minute, we cannot worry about that.” I remind myself that’s not reality right now, that that’s a couple steps down the road and I cannot deal with that right now.”
So, that’s one way. But interestingly enough – and I don’t remember where I picked this up from, but I write in my journal every single morning. And they are a series of kind of mantras. Not exactly affirmations. Some kind of goals kind of things. And lately, my favorite one to write down is, “I am energetically unavailable for negative self-talk, self-doubt, self-loathing, judgment, and shame.”
Elizabeth: I know.
Lindsay: Just say it one more time. We have to – people are going to want to write that down.
Elizabeth: I am energetically unavailable for… and then these are my default emotions. So, it’s…
Lindsay: I love that setup though. People can replace it with anything.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I give it to my clients all the time. So, negative self-talk, self-doubt, judgment, shame, and self-loathing. So, what ended up happening was I was writing that down for a few months. And then, when I would feel the anxiety come in, because anxiety is kind of a secondary emotion for me, I realized that it was because of the self-doubt that was creeping in.
So, I would literally scream that sentence in my head at the anxiety. Like, I am energetically unavailable for negative self-talk, self-doubt, judgment, shame, and self-loathing. And I would just scream it to myself and it would just go away.
Lindsay: I am obsessed with this. I can’t wait to write this down. I’m going to start doing it. Maybe it’s just actually screaming it out loud, scaring my whole household.
Elizabeth: Do it.
Lindsay: It’s so good. Okay, so let’s finish with where can people find you, how do you work with your clients? We know you have a group program coming soon, but right now, do you have spots available right now? Are you even available for coaching?
Elizabeth: I am really trying to downsize. I am full at this point. But people roll off every once in a while…
Lindsay: Yeah, but not usually because now that you’ve been in Coaching Masters, they just love you so much, they keep coming back.
Elizabeth: You know, quite honestly that is true, that people are not rolling off as quickly as they used to. My retention rates are much higher than they were before.
Lindsay: So fun. This is one of my favorite problems that people in Coaching Masters come to a call with is, like, “But wait, none of my clients are quitting so now what do I do? How do I take on more clients?” I’m like, this is the perfect problem to have. This is amazing.
So, you’ll still have spots open. Your group is opening. They can still work with you if they want. So, how can they find you? Even if they just want to come see your adorable face on your website, which is a great one by the way.
Elizabeth: Well thank you. My website is elizabethsherman.com. I personally hang out on Facebook, although there is an Instagram presence. I don’t love Instagram. I don’t know why. I just don’t.
Lindsay: I used to say that too. And now I’m like, “I just don’t love Facebook. I don’t know.” I think it’s just whatever you get used to.
Lindsay: Those are the Instagram police coming to get you, you just said that out loud and now they’re like, “Shut her down. Shut it down.”
Elizabeth: Mexico is not a quiet place to live, by the way. One day I was doing yoga up on my roof…
Lindsay: As we all do, yoga on the roof…
Elizabeth: Yes, and all of a sudden, a parade started coming down the street. A random parade.
Lindsay: That is incredible.
Elizabeth: Shit like that happens all the time.
Lindsay: This is so funny. Did you go join them? Did you go down? What did you do?
Elizabeth: No, I did not.
Lindsay: You just watched them.
Elizabeth: Yeah, exactly.
Lindsay: You said, “Shh, I’m trying to yoga.”
Elizabeth: I’m trying to Savasana.
Lindsay: So good, okay. So, you said your website, on Facebook…
Elizabeth: Instagram. My funnest thing right now is my podcast which is called Done with Dieting. It’s for women who are done with dieting but still want to lose weight. And so, I really love this podcast because, for years, I didn’t feel like I had a voice. I was like, “People don’t want to listen to what I have to say.”
And I realized that through my experience, through my skillset – I’m just going to brag on myself for a second here…
Lindsay: I love it.
Elizabeth: I effing am the bomb. Like, I have all the skills. I know exercise science. I know nutrition science. I know hormonal work with women. And now I know life coaching.
And so, I can cover so much information. And I think I have like 300 topics in my Trello board that it’s just never going to stop. But yeah, that’s my podcast.
Lindsay: I just feel so proud of you for that happening just now. I’m just going to brag on myself. Those are my favorite words. So glad. You’re a quadruple threat.
Elizabeth: I am.
Lindsay: I think that was four things you said. But that’s amazing. I think everyone should go check it out. And maybe I’m going to check it out right after this, to hear you talk about all the hormones and all the things I need to know. Thank you so much for being here today and I will talk to you later.
Elizabeth: Thanks for having me on your show and for anyone who is considering Coaching Masters, you’ve got to do it. And you know, if you do it now, I can be in your cohort with you and I can meet you and it will be awesome and we’ll learn how to coach together.
Lindsay: So fun. I did fill my launch, but listen, maybe there’s a couple spots. I’ll sneak them in, only if they tell me they want to be in it with you. That’s the only way. Alright, thank you, thank you, thank you.
Thank you so much for listening. I hope you loved that conversation. Isn’t she fun? Can’t you just picture doing yoga on a roof and seeing a parade just walk by? I want that in my life. So fun. Thank you for being here and I’ll see you next week. Bye.
Thanks for listening to this episode of Mastering Coaching Skills. If you want to learn more about my work, come visit me at lindsaydotzlafcoaching.com. That’s Lindsay with an A, D-O-T-Z-L-A-F.com. See you next week.